Morning Star - Comments

Great layout, which really sets the atmosphere to the story. And then the story rose up and passed the expectations set by it. Just altogether a beautiful great story.

First, what a lovely layout =) And I like the idea for this. It's very original, and definitely not the kind of thing that other people on this site are doing. I personally have always enjoyed angel stories, atheist though I am, so I thank you. "Your features did not distort, your body did not contort." This line in particular emphasized what I had already been thinking, which is that this reads almost like poetry. I wonder whether you meant it that way.

This is a younger Gabe. It's so interesting to read him like this, so naive and young. A baby, like you said.

The Father is fond of made up things, as long as they are not lies,
i just like this line in general. the message.

Oh, leave me alone, you are terrible. I said, though I did not mean them. You did not take offense, and you stayed, because you knew I did not mean them.
the repetition of 'i didn't not mean them' is breath-taking. it hurts to read, but it feels warm at the same time. like their understanding of each other, i think.

i love the way you've written this dialogue, with no quotation marks. it flows like water, like a dream.

the way he teases gabriel about his clumsiness, i love it. see, here's the thing. your angels are perfect because angels are perfect. but if they were human, they would be flawed. and i love that. they have . . . shortcomings and things like that. it's almost like our sins aren't sins. the angels are doing the same things. it makes you reflect. [sorry, that's not all directly relating to the story]

stopping at chapter six 'cause our rp is breaking my heart too much to focus.

God, this is beautiful.

Wow. Just... wow. I adored it! I'm trying to get my thoughts in order though, haha, I'm sorta speechless at the moment. XD
First, I loved the way you wrote it, I loved how it was written as a memory. I love how you portrayed Gabriel, so naive and innocent, but smart too. And Lucifer, he was almost exactly as I imagined him to be. Beautiful, clever, full of pride, and breathtaking.
Second, the storyline... just wow. It was amazing! I loved how you seemed to capture all of Gabriel's emotions and have it fit with the perfectness of Heaven. I loved the part where he and Lucifer were playing with the instruments. That was cute.
Third, I was almost in tears at the end. Poor Gabriel.
But this was just beautiful. <3 *applauds*