Ubriacarsi. - Comments

Although I don't want to start my comment on a slightly negative note, I did notice something strange right from the beginning. The sentences seemed to be a little too long; although I too use a lot of run-on sentences, it felt like some of them could have been easier to read if they were split up into a few. (: Besides that, I really liked this chapter. You do a very, very good job of writing sensual Mikey and we all know how much I love Mikey. xD Now I'm off to go read For The Monsters... (:

Hey! Nice story. I love Mikey!!! So fuunnny...

awww poor awkward little Frankie :)
I adored this chapter and enjoy seeing how you develop these characters.
<3

Once again, I adored the title. xD Frank got gingerly to his feat. That should be feet. (: I'm glad you decided to make this chapter into a morning after scene; I was actually giddy with anticipation to see what the morning after would be like. (:

Ah, this comment is way too short. The jist is: I really like how you took this chapter to develop the individual characters more. I enjoy Mikey being the skank, since it is the opposite of what he usually is. xD I adore this story. (:

I like how not a lot happened, but at the same time, a lot did happen. Frank's jagged thought process was conveyed really well, too, especially the paragraph beginning 'He strained his memory for details ...'

There was the kiss. Jesus christ, there was the kiss.
I love those sentences, oh lordy.

I'm really liking Frank. Sometimes awkward, inexperienced characters can be really annoying, but I find him endearing :3 And you convey his awkwardness in the cimplest of ways, like this part: “No!” he replied, much too quickly, he realized as he cast his eyes down again., I thought that was amazing. The way Frank and Mikey ineract seems quite realistic to me, and again, I love Mikeys "sluttiness". :D

Whosever house he was in seemed more than nice. - should be 'whoever's'.
Jesus christ - both words should be capitalised.

And ahhhh! You are too kind :'D Thank youuuuuuu.

Awh, poor little Frankie, all flushed and nervous :')
This was a great way to start the day. I love the contrast between Mikey's "skankiness" and Frank's innocence. It totally works.

...whenever I see this fic in my subscription list, I always say 'Ubriacarsi' in a fake Italian accent. I just love that word. Thought I'd point that out, hah.

Can't wait for more - and to hear what Gerard has to say lol, I can only imagine some mocking when they arrive at the restaurant together. Update soon!

Heehee, this update made me smile.
Well, all your updates make me smile, but this one did even more than usual, heehee.
Can't wait for more. :)

awwww Frank's such a cute drunk :)
I'm really digging this story. Update soon! <3

~new reader~

I'm loving this, so much. There are so few good Frikeys out there, but this one is great :)
I love how you write Gerard as well, and his relationship with Mikey haha.
Can't wait to see how Frank and Mikey's relationship develops and see how it affects the dynamic at the restaurant :D

Update soon! :)

I love stories that begin with dialogue. I'm not so sure why, I guess it's like you're put straight into the story. I like Frank, he's very adorable. And Mikey is fiiiine. Like, really. o_o He's not overtly sexual or anything, like fun ghoul ezio said, he's all smooth and seductive and I love it. And it really works and my Gooood.

“That little skank.”


“Mikey’s, like, two musicals and a purple scarf away from flaming gay,”
Gerard is amazing in this story! 8D So hilarious. I love what you've done with him. He's lovely. It's nice to see a happy Gerard.

Your dialogue is amazing. Everyone is so casual, you can really tell that they're comfortable with each other (except for Frank, who is adorably awkward) and they know each other well. And the way you've written Frank is great, too. I really got a sense of his discomfort, starting a new job. When I start a new job I usually feel overwhelmed, especially on the first day. You wrote that really well.

“Mikey’s right you are- fuck!”
This was a brilliant way to introduce Gerard, I was giggling to myself this whole little scene. And I've said it before, but I lovehow you write the Way brothers. -worships-

“Shit.” he said again, - should have a comma after 'shit'.
“Okay,” Frank placed his cigarette - should have a period after 'okay'
continued fitting the pourer’s on the - no apostrophe needed
the Way’s. - no apostrophe needed
Long term potential” He said, - should have a comma after 'potential' and no capital for 'he'
“Just my mom.” Frank - should be a comma
That may have been the easiest job interview that he had ever been on. - should that be "to" instead of "on"?
We just got sat. - I didn't understand this, is it a waiter-y type term? I'm sorry D:
Mikey pulled two Redbull’s from his apron - no apostrophe
Kamikaze’s - no apostrophe

I love the overall feel of this piece. I figure it's going to be mostly set in Ubriacarsi, and I like that. It's a nice change from most things that I read. I'm really interested in seeing how the restaurant staff behave around one another. They seem like a wonderful bunch of characters that I'm going to like. :3

And the Italian word for 'drunk' is so nice-sounding. Good grief. :D

Right off the bat, the title of this chapter made me laugh. xD I liked drunk Frank too; I sometimes find that when authors write characters when they are drunk, it seems really unrealistic. However, I think you wrote it perfectly and it made me laugh. (: And that ending... was purely wonderful. I'm glad that this turned into Frikey, actually, because I'm a Frikey whore and it's a nice change from Monsters. xD

naww awesome chapter! really enjoying the chapters for detail! please update :)

So I'm pretty sure I have an extremely stupid grin on my face from this update. :)
Or maybe I have this extremely stupid grin on my face all the time...
Either way, amazing update, and amazing story so far, I think I'm in love....
And with that being said, im gonna go before I made myself look like even more of a freak. 0_o lmao.

So Im really thinking about stalking your story page from now on. :)
I love this.
I think I'm just gonna stalk your writing. Maybe marry it, I dunno. (Wow, that made me sound like a creeper.) lmao.
Annnyways, Im definitely subscribing. Can't wait for more. :)

This new layout made me thirsty. xD To begin, I am so happy that you didn't make Gerard depressed or anything like that in this one. Its always nice to see Gerard happy. xD And that moment with Mikey having his hand on Frank's back was wonderfully written. I also love moments like that, that are so seductive without being sexual, if that makes sense. And I actually laughed aloud when Frank first entered the kitchen; I hate doing dishes so that would be my worst nightmare.

That was ten pages? I didn't even realize it! Anyways, I love this story! It's entertaining and I look forward to what else you have up your sleeve. :D

I'm so glad you answered what Ubriacarsi means! As soon as I saw the title, my instant reaction was confusion. xD I'm really glad you're choosing to make this into a chaptered story; I think it has a lot of potential and, although the first chapter did kind of have that Mary Sue tinge to it, I think that you will do an amazing job fleshing out both characters. I'm also excited to see you write a Frikey that doesn't involve manipulation or torture! xD I'm going to subscribe right now. (:

This should be very enjoyable. I come from a bar family as well. Though, they just worked in them. It should be a good one.

I likes it. It's a good start with lots of potential. Write more soon.
Oh, and more monsters soon would be nice as well. :)

pretty awesome xD could you write more? if so, update soon :)