Eight, Nine, Baby, You're A Ten. - Comments

Hey! This is like the cutest thing in the world. Most onshots I read, I get upset, because they're only short stories, when I want to keep reading! UGH. Anyways, I just, honestly, Love this. It's just so cute. I don't think I noticed any MAJOR grammar things, but me myself am horrible with grammar...so no need to worry! Loved it!

Oxo - Morgie <3

Rewriting this made it look much more professional. Good job, I hope to see more ;)

I like it :) it was very cute how Andrew made her happy again, there were a few grammar and spelling errors but I liked it. You should definitley keep it

You see, I'm going to start another year of high school in about a week and I'm going to hope a nice beautiful, sexy man finds me attractive -- but it won't happen. Stories like this make me so giddy, because I love romance, then depress me because I'll never have that. e___e

Your right, you need to lengthen the story. It was kinda rushed and you can't get a feel for the story or even the characters. We don't know why she's so depressed and doesn't believe him when he says something. And we don't get why he wants to prove to her so badly that he's different -- and there isn't really a conclusive ending. We need some more... meat behind the actual story, I believe, so lengthening it would be -great-.

I love corny romances, so it was really cute! The ending threw me off, though, I don't know if he was kidding or not. :|

So it should be lengthened, as I said, once more. It was cute, besides all that, though it seemed a little rush. So, good luck and happy writings if you decide to lengthen it! (:

First off, the title should have another comma after baby :)
 
Also, the "i" needs to be capitalized in your
 summary.
 
This was quite cheesy, but cheesy is great:) I think some more description could be added in this chapter such as setting, what they look like and more on their inner emotions.
 
I think this should be extended into a chaptered story because there is a lot left out of it :)
 
Great job so far!

Ah, I like it! I think you should make it into an actual story! Andrew reminds me of my own good friend Andrew, so that is sort of weird, lmao.

But I loved your style of writing. I felt bad for Angel, and it was so cute how Andrew made her happier. And the layout was really cute, plus I didnt see any spelling errors. So yeah, it wad great. :3