Written in blood and tears - Comments

moree

‘his cheekbones would have made a Greek statue weep in envy’ – I really liked this sentence.

Great creation of tension.

Noticed the odd typo

Oh, I’m starting to really get into this, keep up the good work.

Hmmm, now the text is a little small…

‘“Well then I guess I imagined eating red velvet cake with vanilla butter crème frosting earlier huh?”’ – this made me grin, as did the last bit of french from Alice.

Awww, poor Alice

Good luck with your fan-fics

BTW, it’s spelt ‘tongue’

I like Alice’s personality once she’s grown up.

I agree with Weezze, the layout is not the best.
But I like the story :]
Good start. Update?

Not a fan of the layout but it’s the writing that counts and the writing is good.

I spotted the odd mistake but nothing major, perhaps you just need to read through it.

‘Her mind feels like jell- o. Not quite easy to mold but not too hard to penetrate’ – I liked this description, it was a little unusual.

Intriguing first chapter, can’t wait for the rest.