Breathing Has Got Too Hard - Comments

This is quite amazing! More please!!

I actually love this story I hope you update soon :)

Update please?! This is really amazing! :D

I love please write more.

:)

I like everything about it.

I'm in love with this story. CONTINUE, PLEASE D:
Ben is all fascinated with Danny and fhnaskfahfagnsdjfal how cute, it's great.

This story is A+.

amazing update<3 loved this last one so so much<3

How has this not been updated yet!! It's killing me! Im addicted you have to keep going. PLEASE!!

Need I say that this is officially my new drug? :D
I am still in loooove with your writing. This has made me happy, and I will be awaiting every single update. Teehee. =3

:D I fell in love with this instantly! Continue...? :3

omg omg sorry for not commenting. i just realied by now you've updated like 3chapters (since i last commented)
but omg it's amazing, i just wanted to cry and hug so hard Ben<3
stupid Brendon had to ruin everything :S
love thisss

Story Review Game.

Summary
You do a nice job of giving an overall idea of the plot but making us have to figure out detail for ourselves. Your disclaimer isn't obnoxious or rude, which is always a plus. I wish the layout wasn't so dark and the blue background matched the banner better, though, but it doesn't matter all that much.

I read all of this, and I'm just going to review the latest two chapters as requested aside from a couple things.
First off, I know you said this isn't slash, but the way you write Ben makes it very easy to see why people think it is. His voice just sounds very feminine in my head and he's sort of dramatic, like girls tend to be. Also, the way he was freaking out when Danny was MSNing him. It's hard to write guys, I know; reading some stuff with a guy's narration might help you out.
And secondly, I feel the need to point out that his mom driving him home from the hospital and leaving him to his own devices is VERY unlikely after a suicide attempt, even if it's his third one. Especially if it's his third one. His mom wouldn't be treating this as another bump in the road; she'd probably be on the verge of hysteria or at least some other strong emotion. Ben would also be required to go to counseling and whatnot.

Anyways.

Chapter Five
Again, Ben examining himself in the mirror and the note on the refrigerator are just reenforcing some inconsistencies…
I was actually a little surprised at Ben's age. He can drink? And he's been to college? The narration reads like he's a teenager.
Damn, he let the motherload drop there, huh? Danny and Ben both. It's a little odd how comfortable they are around each other when they've talked once via internet and never seen each other in person before.
Wow, Brendan is one angry dude. It's really nice how Danny sticks up for him… I'd like to know the reason of how he got like that.

One thing I think is very good about this story is the dialogue. It reads really naturally, other than lacking a few comma, and it isn't stiff or scripted.

Chapter Six
Okay, I like this reaction Ben's having. I think it's a lot more realistic than most stuff thus far, and it sort of suggests a mental imbalance, him getting so mad at himself over mostly nothing. You mentioned cutting was like an addiction to him, and him punching the dresser was a good way of showing the frustration but restraint at the same time. The choppy sentences used around here match the mood, too.
Here's the concerned mother I've been missing! This chapter is all-around better than the rest of the story, in my opinion. It really shows that he has a problem more than the rest of them, where he's made out (or makes himself out) to be normal.

Overall, this is a decent story with a very original plot. If you worked at it this could turn out to be something really impressive!

I really really really liked this. :3
Eeeep! Cam and James. :DDDDDD
LOL at "bromance". xD

This was a good update. I really liked that it was more simple and character and plot developement rather than action after the last chapter.

I've enjoyed it so far! :3

Very good, imo.

This was an amazing chapter. I liked it a lot. They have a definite good bromance developing and I can't wait to see what happens to test and strengthen it.

Nope, it's not a slash :) they just have a very intense friendship. A Bromance shall we say :')

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I loved this chapter. (:
But I'm just wondering; is this a slash story?

Oh my god, I adore this. :3
It's quite the original idea, and I like where it's going.
You are really a fantastic writer. The way you wrote this was just amazing.

I hope you update soon. :D