Remember Me - Comments

Just in the prologue I can pick out several spelling errors, so I'd go through and check those out. For instance, But before long, Frank Iero starts to develop odd abilitys - The most noteable perhaps, the ability to heal anyone who needs it simply by touching them and wishing them to be well. 'abilitys' should be 'abilities' 'noteable' should be 'notable'. and the 'The' after the '-' shouldn't be capitalized.

The story itself, I'm not really big on bandoms--equally so for My Chemical Romance stories. But I like where this is going, you've got potential as an author and I can see how this could be a well-written piece of fiction. You just need to work on your editing. :)

It'll be interesting to see the development on this. I'm curious to see how well the second-person present-tense narrative will carry through. Generally those both work better on oneshots. I think it worked well in the prologue though, for sure.

It's hours later, and you're laying in a large MRI scanner.
Laying should be lying.

I said I'd review your story :)

First off just watch your spelling on the summary - Other than that I really liked the summary itself. It really made me want to read on. Perhaps you shouldn't have revealed as much so fast? I don't know, it depends what happens next.

Another thing, just make sure you proof read since there are a few typos in here. Nothing to worry about though, the story content is good and really well thought out. You really thought about what having a brain tumour would mean for somebodies' life. I'm impressed :)

I especially liked the ending "It was just a headache." It really hits home about the disbelief Frank feels.

I really liked it, carry on with it (If this isn't a one shot that is. Even if it is you should carry it on)

.....This is truely an undescribable work of art.

I thought this was really interesting. I like the idea of the of the sickness and powers going hand in hand. I'm not a big fan of slash or fanfiction, but that didn't stop it from interesting me. I normally don't like second person, but I actually did like the use of it in this story. It adds an almost experimental air to it. Nice work. :)