I've read the first few chapters and I have to say that this story has great potential. It makes it very hard for me to read, though, because there are no breaks in the text. My eyeballs need rest. If you fix this, your story will just generally look better and more readers will give it a try. It would also be less confusing if you remembered to start a new paragraph every time that the speaker of the dialog changes. Paragraphs are important. Other than that, I can't find anything wrong with this story. If you could please fix the paragraphs, I would definitely appreciate it, even if you can only do it in future updates. :)
I absoutely love this story, it takes an unorigina base plot and competely revamped it and made it so unique and wonderful. I saw MCR live on february 16th and it was the best night of my life. Youll agree with me too when you see them. And I mean, come on, theyre backing band is the Blackout. How much better could it possibly get??
And they were fucked up.