Broken Man - Comments

have subscribed and am definitely hoping yuur mum loosens up soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahaaa,,

RumoursforBliss

“I want pancakes!!!”
I could hear Frankie scream before I even made it to the bus.
I was not looking forward to opening that door.
“RAY-RAY!!!”
Great, the midget has had sugar. And it’s only 9am. This will be a long day.
“Yes Frank?”
“Where’ve you been?” he enquired
“I went for a run” I replied
“Why”
“’Coz I woke up early” I replied in flat voice.
“Why’d you wake up early?”
“’Coz I did.” He was beginning to annoy me
“’Coz why?”
“Frank?”
“Yes?”
“Shut up now”
“Fine” he huffed.

ZOMG!
I lol'd =]
That was excellent, how come you havent posted again =[
x x x

I liked it :)
I'm really interested as to what will happen next.

Con-crit - You need to double check it for errors, there were a few but it doesn't really matter. I suck at comments, duh. (And I'm a bit of a freak when it comes to grammer and spelling lol so feel very free to ignore me)

I really loved how you put a bunny in there, so cute

Can't wait to read more :D

Thanks for the coment =]
I'll try to update before friday.
xxxly

aww...Poor Ray i hope he'll somebody who's much better. i liked the intro so far...i can't wait to read the rest *subscribes*