Finders Keepers. - Comments

please keep going with this, i love it!

please continue! i love this story so much! you're writing is wonderful and the way you portray natalie is perfect. it's like i know her and want to be there for her. josh definitely doesn't hurt the story either. :)

I really love where this story is going. It's well paced and unlike your typical fan fiction that you read. It truly is an intriguing story and I can't wait for the next update!

Finally! I'm here! ;"D

So, the summary was perfect. It couldn't have been written better. It gave just the right amount of description about the lead character, it also gave us the character page which was awesome. I got to learn a little about both characters.

I love this. I mean, it's so different. It's not all, "Oh, this band and this girl and then the lead dude and the girl and then boom, she's pregers."

It actually has a story which I love. It's different, well written. I didn't see any grammar errors. I'm subscribing of course! It's also going in my journal. :"D

Gosh, I want to read more but I have to go read a million other stories. But this is def on my to do list. I LOVE IT!

I don't know much about the fandom you're writing in so I'll just read it like I would read any ordinary original fiction story :3 I just wanted to say that I love your layout, it's so amazingly simple but it's nice and I love the bottom bit on the banner. I like the touch of humour in the summary, it made me smile and I can already tell that I'll like Natalie, she has that sneaky tongue-in-cheek sense of humour that I admire and it just leaves me wondering what will come of Natalie.

Hah, I don't know why but the dictionary definition for the word 'prologue' at the start of the prologue made me laugh but hey, it was pretty fitting considering the next sentence. Natalie talks about how she was an intelligent child, and I just think the fact that the word 'prologue' was defined just seemed to highlight her intelligence. x] Natalie is very likable right off the fact and oh God, I can sympathise so much with her, at how she seems to be a deep and complex thinker yet just a simple word like love can just throw her off guard. The prologue is a very nice introduction to the start of the story, as I'm guessing we'll be going on Natalie's journey and sees about how she learns more about herself and things that, well...matter.

Hah, I see that you put a dictionary definition at the start of every chapter and I must say that it is a nice touch, it's not something I've seen on Mibba before, it's a very unique idea. ^.^ You know, you have a real talent with fleshing out characters, I can just feel Natalie jumping off the page and coming to life. She seems so real with her flaws and her tendency to ramble and say stupid things but that just makes her even more likable and I just really like her sense of humour, the way how she presents it is so deadpan, it just makes me laugh. x]

I like her relationship with Katie, it just seems like any normal girl relationship, and not at all dysfunctional. In fact, I like how normal Natalie is. I see so many stories about girls (and boys) with really dysfunctional and it's like, "Uh, not everybody's life is like that." I mean, yeah some people's lives are like that but there are people who lead perfectly normal, mundane lives out there. x] But awh, by the time I got to the sixth chapter (yes, I did read the whole thing!), I just want Natalie and Josh to confess their underlying love for each other, you can just feel their sexual tension brewing, aha.

I'm lovin' this story, you make your characters so endearingly likable to the reader so the readers get rather attached to the character, and I'm liking the slowly simmering sexual tension boiling under the surface ;D I don't understand why this hasn't got any more comments, seriously ;o I will be subscribing and I hope you update soon ;D

Oh my poor baby Natalie! :( This really isn't fun for her at all, and the way you write her, it's like I know her myself, like she's one of my best friends and I just want to jump into the story and give her a massive hug!
Josh is the sweetheart as always and I think my advice to him would be to just tell her her loves her and get it over and done with! I don't know if it's just me but I can feel their sexual tension!
I love this Alice, it's so real and believable! <3

I just love this and the fact that Josh is in the story has its plusses :)
Your writing is just beautiful and the way it flows; If I could, I would read your stories all day.
Josh is such a cutie <3

Please update soon, love.

Oh my lord. You are perfection, Alice <3 xx

Finders Keepers, the whole thing is a lie.
Brilliant way to start off a summary.
It creates an open door for your readers to walk thorugh, and it develops curiousity in the mind.
So great job with that! :D

And I love the way you give a dictionary definition at the beginning of the prologue. It really carried on the feel of mystery that you had going with the summary.

Your writing flows very beautifully and you connect one topic from the next with masterful form. There is so much in this chapter, but you manage to present it all without over-whelming the reader or moving the plot along too quickly.
I'm envious. That's something I have awful trouble doing.
So, marvelous job!

How was it, then, that at the age of twenty-two, I was stuck in everything I swore to myself that I didn’t want?
This is quite an elegant, interesting line to use to end a chapter. I know one thing, it hooked me on this story. :3

One thing I did notice was in this sentence:
I remember my first day at the coffee shop that I planned to work at all summer well.
I was confused a bit by the "well", but I got over it quickly. :3

Other than that, this is fabulous, and I do believe I shall subscribe.
:D

Ok, I only read the first chapter so far, and I'll read the rest, but I just wanted to stop and tell you what I think so far. First off, I really liked the Banner at the beginning, and the layout. I liked how it was plain and didn't distract from the story. Next, I really love your style of writing. As soon as I was done with the first chapter, I was like, 'wow, this could actually make it as a book.' Most stories on here move to fast, don't have enough detail, or the plot sucks. You moved, in my opinion, at just the right speed. You gave background, and that always helps. You certainly put in a lot of detail, which made it easier for me to picture it all. And If I at least vaguely picture the story I'm reading then I lose interest, so good job. Also, I liked the definitions at the beginning. I think they lighten the mood, or at least the college one did. (I only read the first part of chapter two). It made me laugh. Well, gotta go do some schoolwork now, but I promise I'll be back later.
Keep on writing, you've definently got the talent! =)

-insert excited squeal here-
This is so cute! :D I'm loving cute Josh right now ;)

Oooooh, Josh is sute a cutie!
I can't wait for everything to start unravelling! SO excited for this!!
<3

Holy hell, I didn't expect that at all! I thought this was going to start and continue at college! Wow! You amaze me, Alice, you truly do.

This chapter is beautiful! I can't wait to read the rest! xxx

Oh Jesus Alice, this is proper good!
I love it all and I can really tell how much work you've put into it, it's just so beautifully written!
I don't think putting my predictions here would be wise, because I know a little something ;) But! I can't wait to see where this goes!
<3

Oh god. Oh god. Oh goddddddd. It's beautiful!
I seriously CANNOT wait until the nest chapter <3
UGHHHHHHH SO GOOOOOOOOD ♥♥♥♥♥♥

Hi, okay hello.
OH MY GOD IT'S HERE, IT'S FINALLY HERE I NEED MORE AND OMG I JUST, I JUST CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS RIGHT NOW OKAY?
Right, i'm fine. This is so amazing Alice, like everything usually is when it comes from you! Seriously, I need more of this.
I love it.
<3 <3 <3

dufhbodvjexuvnxcfjbuhdobxuhxovjxgxhjoefjx ALICE OKAY I LOVE THIS
okay.

I actually do love this, already, and it's just the first chapter. I love how you haven't immediately introduced Josh and, right yet, the entire plot; keeps people on their toes!

♥

;kkfbowrknhprwnhmwrdbgv.
I had no idea this had a summary! Oh Jesus Alice, you do love to be a tease, don't you? I can't deal with all this tension around when you're actually going to post!
I. NEED. THIS. IN. MY. LIFE. RIGHT. NOW!!!!!!
/I am calm//