Ryston - Comments

First things first. DANG! That first chapter was pretty long, I applaud you. The only issue I really had is that the font is so small that it was hard to read, but if it were any bigger than the story would seem much longer. I just might be blind since I was having such a hard time haha. But I do like your layout, it's simple and doesn't have a loud background picture or anything.

Your ability to describe everything is very impressive, your descriptive voice is something to be proud of. Not many people have the patients to write for as long and as descriptive as you do. I enjoy the third person point of view and how each character is different in their own way. Some writers have a tendency to put themselves in all their characters so you can see the similarity and they bleed together as the same character with a different name. Not many write same-sex stories, or at least I haven't noticed too many, but just like any romance I would read I'm glad you aren't rushing it. I'm sick of people throwing their characters in love and then having them break up but then find out that they're meant to be in the first couple of chapters. So good job. I definitely think you should be proud of this story and the content.

I've only read the first chapter but I'm wondering if Aaron ends up going towards Kyle or Julian, hmmm!

I am beyond impressed by your writing, wow! Your voice is absolutely wonderful. I don't know you but I feel like I'm listening to you speak as I read the story. Such attention to detail too! I aspire to write like you, and I'm working on it, I just do not have the patience you so obviously do. I really like the character Aaron, I feel like I can relate to him, I feel like most people could probably relate to him. Overall though, wow! You've got some talent to be proud of.

You have a good story starting. You have the setting set up nicely and your character and plot development is coming along really well so far. You use enough detail to get your point across without overdoing it. I can't wait to see how this goes. I also like the songs that you used, and I'm glad you credited them because a lot of people forget that.

Simple layout, but it's easy to read from, yet still designed nicely.
As for your writing, all I can say is wow. Not only are you very thorough in detailing and description, but you actually take decent time out to develop ideas and themes. It took you a few long paragraphs to detail Ryston College, but it was well worth it. You allowed me to paint a terrific mental image.
I didn't pick up any grammar or spelling errors either. All in all you are extremely talented, and have a great future in writing ahead of you.

This is pretty much amazing. More soon, please! :P

I'm so in love with this story!! Please update soon :)

I was so very close to crying when I noticed that there were only three chapters D:
Update soon :)

I'm really loving this story. You've achieved a perfect balance in respect to descriptive language, and your pacing is just right. I'm already addicted, please update soon!

yay!! update....fyi i am now a glee fan...and you were one of the people who encouraged it and now more things in this story make sense!

great chapter! i'm really exited that Aaron and Julian are getting closer! ♥
can't wait for more!! ツ

I'm now really hungry for guacamole

and Aaron’s great with talking to about my feelings, him being gay and stuff
I loved this part

I loved*

Inloved the captain America movie
(Aaron is adorable)

**PAGECLAIM**

IMMASEEWICKEDONBROADWAYSOON.
and that's what aaron's song reminded me of
(also, in glee, I'm incredibly excited for them to do west side story [which I have seen on broadway and it was amazing])
also, in Dalton, doesn't Blaine call Kurt ace?

HEY. HEY. HEY.
chapter?
please?
<3

UPDATENOW.
please.

aaron may not know where the nickname came from, but i do

i just have to make the connection of the mentioning of gap to when blaine sang to that guy at the gap