Black Bird - Comments

I agree with what alex leto; said. You really did a great job at making the reader experience the feelings the character felt. Or at least I felt that way. I definitely connect with the beginning of the second paragraph. I went through that a lot during the early years of my childhood and I think you did a great job of describing it. I really liked how he wants to become a blackbird because it'd probably be a simpler life. I find that really relatable because I'm sure everyone has thought something like that at one point in their lives.

To be able to come and go as one chooses, to never have to endure someone's hate filled words, to never have to be loved by anyone.
I really liked this line, that described the black birds and also how Kimothy wanted to feel. Like I said before, I think everyone has felt like this at one point.

As for constructive criticism, I really only noticed spelling mistakes. Like "fornight" which, I'm assuming you meant "fortnight" and "aweful" instead of "awful" and a couple others. But that's about it.

Overall, I really loved this. The ending, I thought, was pretty brilliant. I'm glad that he decided not to go forth with suicide. It shows strong character. I also like how the birds sort of symbolized hope. I thought it was very poetic. The only downside - I wish it were longer because I'd really like to read more. Let me know if you ever decide to continue on with this!

This was beautiful, kind of inspirational and sad and just wow, in my opinion. You used good- is it metaphor? i think so- in this and it really just wrenched my heart, because I've battled suicidal thoughts myself due to abuse.

I wish this were longer, I want to read more, to know more. You gave enough detail for me to imagine just what Kimothy was going through. Gosh, I've never heard that name before. My dislexia makes me want to type and see Timothy but I have enough brain power to see that it's Kimothy, and I have to wonder where in the world you got that from.

Overall, this was beautiful, and I really felt like Kimothy's pain was my own. I'm not sure if he's still six or if time passed, but I might have lost control of my thoughts for a second there. I did notice a few spelling errors, just typos, easy to fix. Great job, and I'm subscribing just in case.