Victoria's Secret - Comments

You should continue this story! Its really good! I like to see how Victor's relationship goes and junk.

What can I say? Well I know I absolutely loved the story! As far as I can tell you have no mistakes. I loved how you had all the characters support Victor. You know, all except for Theo. All I can say about Theo is that he’s a butt whole. I liked how you made all the characters normal. Like an average everyday person. Nothing to cliché. Just right. I also liked is how most Transgendered stories don’t go deep into the feelings of the Transgendered character but yours does.

There’s only a few things I don’t like much. Not every story has a happy ending. But I do like that you put one in there. I wish you could have put more detail in it though. And why was Theo the only one who thought there was something wrong with Victor. I'm sure normally people would have been confused and believed Theo. But who knows, I could be wrong.

But all in all its a good story(: If you decide to continue this story I would defiantly subscribe. Keep writing and don't let anybody ever tell you different.
(Sorry my review sucked. I'm horrible at them)

(I did a critique first, then the stuff I loved. I apologize if you think I'm being too harsh, I'm just giving my honest opinion.)

It was a really sweet story. But, it was unrealistic.
This is every transgender person and ally's dreamworld, but it isn't how things would be for a transgender person 'out' in high school.
There would be some asshole on the basketball team or one member of the family who couldn't accept it or some other person/teacher at the school. I know you added Theo. But there were some problems there as well. Why did nobody believe him? Maybe he had been known to imagine things or be offensive before. It just seems very strange to me nobody gave it a second thought. Obviously, it's good no one believed him, because that would have caused more stress for Victor. But it was difficult to believe this part.
So if we're judging realism, it's a nice thought, but not true.

However, if we're judging adorableness, this story is awesome!
I really love how you created the characters and put some personality into them. Victor seems like a really great guy, as does his brother, Shawn. I wish you went a little deeper with the girl at the end, but it's okay.
I love the coach's speech to Victor after the game. It was inspiring and a very couch-thing to say.
Victor is just an average everyday guy with a passion for basketball. I love how normal you made him. I've read some transgender stories where the author made the lead character this really out-there odd person with strange interests. Obviously there is nothing wrong with this because there's nothing wrong with being a little odd, but I think I love the stories where the main character is just a normal human being who happens to be transgender.

It was a really sweet adorable story with a great message. <3

I like how you were able to show how a huge thing like getting onto the basketball team (because I know a bunch of people that love basketball that think it's a huge deal whether or not they'll make the team) can be huge in a way that no one ever thought of.

You did a good job with this.

Hey.

Well, where to start? It's great! I love the way you captured it. Joining the basketball team seems such a trivial issue in real life for a person who isn't going through this and the way you made that link between what's expected and what isn't... It's awesome! Sorry, that was a ramble, but my point was that you captured the problems that could arise when a situation isn't what it seems, and it's almost like reading about a real person. I loved that.

It was also a breath of fresh air th find a story like this that isn't about the person admitting to their 'problems'. Stories like this don't tend to give an insight into what the life of a person with Gender Identity Disorder is like, whereas yours does.
This also kind of links to my next point, I guess, I really like the ending. It's nice to find a happy ending, where a person who is seen as different finds something really positive - in this case, love. I think it's great when stories about 'disorders' have happy endings.

On top of that, it was written really well and there were virtually no mistakes. Which is great.

So... It's and awesome entry, keep up the great writing and good luck :D.

Wow. So, where should I start?

I guess I should start with the fact that this is amazing. I've never really read a trans-gender story but now I think I should. I'm sure that they won't be as good as this one because, wow, this is really good. It was so real. And, it reminds me of a show called Degrassi. It's the same gender switch except the two were dance partners and the girl touched the trans-gender's chest and... Yeah. Except, everyone thought the girl was a boy.

But anyways, I'll start with the story content now. So, chapter one. From the first word, I wanted to read more. I'm sure it's hard to know you're not like anybody else but still. Kudos to Victor for being excepted by everyone. I wish you'd put more with the grandpa in there so we could see just how much he accepts Victor but that's okay. :) I'm very glad the coach put him on the team; I'm sure Victor really is a great player. And chapter two. Screw you Theo. I'm glad nobody listen to him going on about saying that Victor has boobs. He does seem a little crazy. Haha. But I'm glad Victor held it all together until the end. I hated when he doubted that he could stay on the team because of a little miss happen. The Coach wants you on the team so don't doubt yourself!

Anyways, this was amazing. I'm sorry this review sucked. I'm not very good at them and such so sorry again. I really think you should turn this into a story. I'd definitely subscribe if you did. :)