Why Is It Always Me - Comments

*comment swap*

Your story was different. I liked Emalia's name. I recently used that name in one of my stories :). I liked your plot. Like having Bella's daughter having a sister. But there was quite a few errors. And you end the story in mid sentence or like as soon as something is slightly about to happen. You should keep writing till whatever is about to happen is finished then end a chapter. And I got confused at times. But other than that you did a good job. :)

I've never been a huge fan of Twilight, but I have to admit that this was very interesting and...different from others that I've seen before. Of course, 'different' being in a good way.

Okay, time for the part that I actually some-what hate to do, but it's time to criticize. The first thing I'm going to "criticize" is the layout for this story. Maybe it's just me, but after I got done reading the story, my eyes were hurting because of the green color. My suggestion for future reference is to try and steer away from using any bright, bright colors and try to aim for the neutral colors for fonts and stuff.

For the next thing, Annabell just took the words out of my mouth. I agree, that this story does skip around a lot and lacks structure. Also, (weirdly the same) it does end where it doesn't feel like it should. To the readers it makes it seem rushed, and you don't want to give the readers that sort of feeling. Lastly, you switch between P.O.V.'s quickly, making me as a reader confused. Try to stick with one P.O.V. throughout the whole story.

Other than those things, this story was wonderful. There were not many grammar issues, spelling, or anything of the sort (which is good because those things bother me so very much). I liked the plot-line for this, and good job on it.

Overall?: Alright.

I like the concept of your story, of Renesmee having a twin. I think it's very unique and interesting. However, your story does seem to lack structure and jump around a lot. It suddenly changed from third person view to first person which threw me off for a second, and you tend to end chapters part way through scenes, or they end in places where it doesn't feel like it should end.
I do feel really bad for Emellie. I love how Alice looks out for her but feel so bad that her mom only cares about Renesmee. Most of the family seems that way, like how Jaspers just like, ya here's the other one. I feel really bad for her.
But anyways, good job so far, just watch your punctuation and grammar and where you end chapters, but ya good job and good luck with this! :)

It’s times like these that I really want to take comment swap, and stab it multiple times in the face. I mean, of all the fan fictions on the internet, it had to send me to a fan fiction about something I almost hate as much as I hate One Direction.
As far as I’ve read, it’s pretty well written. There aren’t many mistakes at all, and it was pretty easy to read, which was good, because nobody likes to read a story that is long and boring and hard to digest.
I don’t like it when comment swap sends me to a story that’s far too long and uninteresting and then expects me to read it all. If this weren’t a Twilight fan fiction, I might have enjoyed it.
The layout really did it for me. I mean, I’m so sick of seeing those layouts that are so bright and uncoordinated that it makes my eyes feel like they’re bleeding. But this layout was nice and simple and was a pleasure to look at.
I wish more people would use layouts like this one. It makes stories hard and unbearable to read.
I’m just making sure you know, I’m not targeting your writing, because it was alright, I just really hate Twilight. Sorry. ^^”

I think you should rewrite this story. But only because I think it would be better not to speed through everything in the story. besides that I still like it, even thou i don't think I ever understood half of what you wrote somewhere after chapter 16. just throwing it out there.

xD

love to read more!

well it's difenetly interesting, I just logged on today and found out that you had posted a couple of chapters.

I think you kind of rush through every event in your story. I think that you could get a lot more out of your plot if you pulled it a little. But that is just my oppionen.

Update again soon please. :D

It just keeps getting better and better!

I feel so bad for her!

Update soon!

haha i like the name jonathan :) update!

Wow, she's pregnant.
I want to nkow more!
Update Soon :-)

oh my goddddddddddd she's pregnant!
so that means up need to update like...NOW! ;D
I need to know more!

Update ASAP!

first of all THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! for longer chapters (just got a weird look from my mom, because I might have cheered a little too loudly..oops!) second thing is that you posted chapter 16 twice. just thought you should know. besides that it was a good chapter and I hope for more soon. :D

Poor Emalie D:
UPDATE SOON PLEASEEEEEEEEEE!
I missed reading this story

still a good story but what do I have to do for longer chapters? PRETTY PLEASE! it's annoying the hell out of me everytime I get into the story, that it ends after the next line. is there even hope for it? or do I just have to live with it? other than that, UPDATE AGAIN SOON PLEASE

Update ASAP!

oh i'm already reported

Sort out your grammar, I am very surprised you haven't been reported yet.

Sort out your grammar, I am very surprised you haven't been reported yet.