Cutting. - Comments

'Ello(: This was deep. O: It was really good, though.

I would comment on it, but I can't read it.

Wow...that was I can't even say. It was surprising I won't lie. I had a feeling the ending wouldn't turn out "happy" and I was right.

The color and the layout did make it hard to read I won't lie. But thats nothing. Your details are good. It was hard to read this but I won't go into that. I like this. Your summary was good, it didn't give too much away. Good job :)

woah......that was.....something else
i wasn't expecting that i'll say. dang.....i could see his logic there though, kind of an eye for an eye thing.
really good though i really didn't see that ending coming

Damn, that was an intense story!

Heyy john i really loved the story it was amazing. please read my story i just put up.? alrighty love ya lil bro

Heyy john i really loved the story it was amazing. please read my story i just put up.? alrighty love ya lil bro

They layout definitely works for this story.

I liked this story. You could feel every emotion that was going on. He had release, cutting was his release, unfortunately someone took that from him, and he needed to do something about it. This story was dark and twisted and that is what I liked about it.

On a constructive criticism note though, some of your spelling and grammar was off, but nothing that took too much away from the story, just thought that maybe it is always good to have a second look :)

Other than that I loved this and thought it was amazing. Great work darling! :)

The layout was a bit hard on my eyes. It was hard to read the text on the really dark background.

BUT ANYWAYS. :D I think the description of the girl was nice. I could actually envision her in my mind. It doesn't matter that I envisioned one of my friends who looked like that, haha. :)
Their is an awkward silence as I think of a goodbye
Should be 'there'. :)

NARWHALS. o: Those things are beast and of course they are real! :o
Aw thats so sweet that she made him stop cutting. But I have a feeling he will start up again? I don't know! HOLY SHIT. That guy seems really creepy. Rotting flesh? Ew.

Okay, this was really gruesome. Haha. I loved the idea of it though. It reminds me so much of the song A Little Piece of Heaven by Avenged Sevenfold. :O

Great story! :D

I like the way you wrote it. I really felt like I was in his head. Very twisted and gruesome. The added fantasy/psycho moment with his anger was a great, original addition. Very well done.

Josh this is really deep. when I read this story it made me feel pain that i once had in my past. i feel for Ryan.

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HOLY BEJEEZUS dayaammmm, He went a little coocoo crazaay in the end. Whew. Anyways, I just LOVED the whole plot and idea of the story. Like with Lacey and everything, but I think the way you worded and told it is a bit confusing. Like, I would prefer it if it was a flashback, or if it was him telling someone, and it was a bit confusing when you kept on adding things. Also, when they were rolling around, and he was on top you said "and her eyes looked down on me", it confused the hell outta me. All you need to do is edit and revise this a bit more and it would a bajillion on the epicness scale :). Oh, and details details! It's a must!

The lay out is cool, it goes along with the tone of the story. For a one shot it was a bit long in my opinion but that doesn't matter at all. This was a dark story, when ryan picked up the knife and heard the voices telling him to seek revenge, I had a feeling he was going to hurt Lacey. That was pretty graphic and twisted as you said. The descriptions were good and it was kind of haunting.
I saw a few grammar errors, one where u had im instead of I'm.
Also, "Oh no, you didn't she says" should be "Oh no, you didn't" she says... Because if you have the she says part in the quotations it sounds like she is saying "she says" which doesn't make sense because she's the one talking. This was a good story though

All I can say is wow. I can see how Ryan felt and can imagine how Lacey must've felt when he killed her. I like how anger had a physical apperance to Ryan, it certainly added to the story and shows how anger is sort of Ryan's 'inner demon'. Good job.

i can fell the story i love the way you wrote it it is amazing

The tense-switching i sbecause Ryans recounting the story how it happened, and he tells it in present tense

"Hear i say," picking up her bag for her (I literally ran into her, and she fell over) "you dropped this."

I think you mean: "Here," I say, picking up her bag for her.... "You dropped this."

However, we did keep talking. maybe, just maybe, if i hadn't got her name (Lacey), or if i had forgotten it, I would not be here today. Maybe i would not be sitting here, talking to myself.

I like this speculation. I feel like that's something that everyone wonders about, and it's intriguing to wonder exactly where the main character is right now.

You also tend to use "their" instead of "there" a lot, so make sure to proofread. Also you switch between past and present tense a lot. Try to write in past tense, it's usually easier.

The ending was such a twist! I couldn't believe what happened. This is intense, and crazy, and I really liked it. Well done.

Forget about the other comment I found out but I love the story it really fit me and what I am into I think you should keep putting more stories out there like this I would read more from you in a minute. Thanks for sharing this with me. I would love to talk with you sometime.

How do I read the story?

The font color and the background makes the text hard to read. Can you please change that? Thank you! That would make it sooo much easier to read so I won't have to change it to the default layout. (: