Sucks that Felia died, but I think it made the story all that much better. I wished Sohrab wouldn't have either. The whole Boeden/Noah thing tripped me out. FANTASTIC STORY!!!
"Felia, no one has ever seen Divus and live to tell about it." Boeden said, quietly. I'm sure you can see where you typo-ed there.
In chapter 25.
She wanted to turned around and leave this place, this island.
Other than that, I have found no other errors.
The story is going on a pretty interesting path, but I just hope there are more intense fighting scenes in the future. I mean, not like the basic cliche, but so far it's kind of been less than intense to me in the parts where Fraus is hurting Wren and Sohrab. Other than that, I am enjoying the story, and definitely glad that you are updating it regularly. Plus, I love how she hardly has anyone to turn to, it kind of makes you wonder who she can really find a friend in.
Love the new twists, it's getting even better. You definitely know how to hide your intent and hold the reader's interest.
I only found one thing that didn't sound right, here it is: "She felt warm but it was different from the near-unbearable humidity of the jungle behind her that seemed to become smaller and less important behind her." You choose what you want to do with that.
Oh Snap. I was hoping Kahili was one of the good guys. Who is Sohrab? I keep on wondering, is he Kahili's lover, brother, friend? Hm.... Love the story!
Forgot to mention one other thing, in the hotel you said Felia picked up their bags...When they were leaving her hut, didn't Kahili say they didn't need anything like that? Where did they get them?
This is definitely a very good story, so different. So original. I have never read a story about shape-shifters quite like this. And to be honest...I have never been able to take one seriously. You did beyond amazingly well with somehow writing this story in a way that it actually can be taken in seriously, regardless of how the thought of human's shifting into animals is usually taken. And that, my friend, is true talent. I don't think I am even vaguely capable of a talent so strong yet. You must have started writing a long long time ago...Your talent is baffling.
Then the detail, the imagery, the dialogue so perfect, and the character development; that is so perfect. I can't fathom any change to it that could do it better.
This story is, over all, a very interesting, amazing, original and mysterious story. I can't wait to see what you are going to do with it. It would be a perfect role play.
I only disagree with your writing once, and that is the relationship between Kahili and Felia that seems to be developing. I'm not against any sexuality. But it just doesn't seem to fit well in this story. And I definitely don't want to read any lesbian sex scenes, I really hope you consider that. Because regardless of how much I accept people's opinions, that is too far for me to deal with. So, you would lose me as a reader...
But other than that; this story is truly amazing. And I will subscribe, because I really do love it so far.
cool idea for a story :) that leader guy seems suspicious, as does Kahili... and I'm worried about Felia (p.s. does she have something for Kahili?? :O lol) Noah seems sweet though :3 I really liked your comparison of how the journey is like the after-life; very cool Those darn cliffhangers get me every time! Update soon :)
I've only read the first chapter so far, but I felt it appropriate to comment now! This is awesome. I love how Felia's so chill. She's like: "Yeah, I have no idea where I wanna go, what do you suggest?" I love it! Besides, I've always wanted to just randomly go someplace. Tahiti! Fun! I just might comment again once I read ALL the chapters ;)
WHY SUCH A SAD ENDING? D8
Gosh, I really like this story but it so sad!
Why did you kill Felia?! >.<