I noticed towards the end of the second chapter you slipped into first person. :3 That's the only thing I spotted, thought I'd help you out :D but yes, luckily I stumbled onto this story on the stories page, was actually the one at the top. Definitely impressed with this. You write in first person really well, considering you don't do it much. :P looking forward to what happens. :D -subsribes-
This is really really really good! And I can't believe that you live on Long Island. I'm going to totally attract stalkers, but I live in West Islip. When you described the beach, I actually had Long Island in my mind. I hope you update soon though, I really enjoyed this.
That's the only thing I spotted, thought I'd help you out :D
but yes, luckily I stumbled onto this story on the stories page, was actually the one at the top.
Definitely impressed with this.
You write in first person really well, considering you don't do it much. :P looking forward to what happens. :D
-subsribes-