Everything in Transit - Comments

@ cmflynn827

Thank you! Your comment just totally made my day

I really love how you did this from a guy's perspective. I don't get to read too many pieces that show a guy's point of view when falling in love with a girl. This was so sweet and simple, and I thoroughly enjoyed how you incorporated the song lyrics as a way to not only break between entries but also incorporated them into the writing itself. They correlated with the story perfectly! Once again, this was super sweet and I loved how you chose to write about the small, quirky things that Logan noticed about Kandi. Wish there was a definite ending towards the young couples relationship, but hopefully I'll find out more soon!

Definitely perfect for my contest. I like how you used the lyrics as a scene divider. The overall story was very descriptive and not too cliche.

I liked how you summed up the whole relationship into a one-shot. I definitely found it interesting and different. It was unique and I found the couple to be cute and described well. I liked the usage of song lyrics in between. I thought that all the song lyrics fit into the scenes well. I thought that the way Logan described the relationship was on target with most relationships and how boys are feeling. Good job.

This is such a sweet, classic love story. Even though it doesn't give a definite end to the couple's relationship and no reader can know for sure what will happen to the two in the future, this one shot doesn't seem incomplete. You ended on the perfect clip of song, showing Logan's hopes for the future of the relationship. Actually, all of the selections of song lyrics worked well with the dynamic of the scene they were related to and fit with the overall carefree summer attitude. However, I also really liked the subtle seriousness and insecurity of the relationship as told from Logan's point of view.
I think it was a super creative way to get inspired and write this, just going off of the music. I've never seen this style anywhere else before, and it's actually something I think I'll want to try eventually. Anyway, really great piece and keep up the good writing!