When You See Me, Can You See Me? - Comments

That's a good idea. I like it. :)

There were some parts where you needed a comma, or put a comma and didn't need it. You might want to look out for those.

The only part I didn't get was about the cloth... I don't know who pulled it out or, if it was the girl, why she would. It may just be another comma issue. Dx

I HAVE GOOD COMPETITION.

Wow! This is so beautiful.. I love it I really do. I like how it all goes together. It just seems perfect. The only thing that confused me was the bit about pulling the clothe out of the pocket. Besides that, I just adored it. I loved how you worked through the emotions so vividly. It's so sweet and yet so sad at the same time. I think you should be very proud of this.

I'm listening to one of Avril Lavinge's sadder songs and I must say it set quite and atmosphere for this story. It's kind of complimenting. (:

Anyways, the layout, though slightly boring in color, is nice. It's all organized and even, and it's matchy and elegant and I like it. C: <3

The summary is boss. I like the way it's so slighty repeative, but not exactly. It coasts us incredibly easily into the story that's to come and I am now on the shore of your amazing words, ready to read!(:

Onward with the story, gigglys. <33

I know it's late, but his eyes say never leave.

This line....I just...I adore it. <3
It's the best line I've read in ages.
Amazing. <33 (:

This was such a fast paced little piece. I noticed there were no larger details. Usually I crave those and don't like reading anything without those, but you know...you made it work. I'm pretty much near tears because in so few words you moved me. This is amazing. It's hard to believe there might be more, but yet, my heart is craving it. I'm eager to know how you'll continue this amazing peice. (:

Really and truly, you did a great job. What you written wasn't anything like what I'd expected this story would be due to the title, but it was lovely all the same.

Amazing job. :) Your word choice was really fluent and nothing was too repeative either. This, by far, was the best thing I've read in a while. C: And I'm not just saying that, either. I never say things I don't mean, so don't even think it, missy. This was amazing. :) <3