I Need a Second to Breathe - Comments

I completely agree with hollowheart when it comes to the grammatical errors. There were few so it wasn't distracting. I loved the emotions that shew as feeling when she thought about her husband cheating on her. It seemed very realistic. You should continue writing, nonetheless! I think you are doing a wonderful job! Keep writing!!! :)

Nice Job! You are a good writer. There were very small grammatical errors; almost unnoticeable which is a good thing. :) The layout was well done and the story flowed together nicely. This would be a good story if you ever felt like you wanted to continue!
I am sorry for taking so long to get back to you. I commented on the contest to tell everyone why.
I will be posting the winners in the comments later today as well.

I loved the title and the layout and the picture, they were sweet and easy and simple, really complimented your writing. It made the story look more professional and well written. I knew by looking at the summery page that this was going to be a really good, and i was right.

You have a lot of talent, i was really drawn in from the start. I wasn't sure what was really going to happen and you really involved the wish. The fact that Evan was shown as an awful person and then blossomed into this really sweet man was a shock- a good shock- I'm glad you changed it round so everything was a small misunderstanding.
You are a really good writer, especially when writing emotion, and i hope you go far with it.

Well done x

LOL, TOTES WANTED TO BEAT HIM UP AT FIRST. Turns out that he's not a huge douche, but a really sweet man. :') I loved this, by the way. It was angering at first because of what she assumed - I did too, but I was like awwww by the end of it because of how sweet it ended up being. You've got a real talent for emotional roller coasters, I'd stick to it if I were you. ;D

Ah ha, wow, I sat here laughing for a second because I wanted to hit him. xD

I did like this. Not what I was expecting!

This was not at all what I expected it to be! It was such an emotional roller coaster! I could just picture all of it, and I could feel the tension building and I was on the edge of my seat when Allison actually confronted Evan. What he was actually up to was a total shock! I didn't see it coming at all.
There were only two errors that jumped out at me. One: She’s seen firsthand what adultery can do to a relationship.- I feel like it should be "She had seen" because the rest of the piece is in past tense. Also, “Pancakes this morning? What did I do to deserve such a lovely treat?” he murmured softly into the nap of her neck.- the should be "nape of her neck" I believe.
This is a well-written one-shot, and it was fun to read. :)

you're talented.... i loved it !