My Little Fairy - Comments

I'm here as a judge for the Pick a Sentence, Write About It contest.

I don't generally read incest stories because I personally don't like them, so I won't really be commenting on the content. However, I won't let it affect my judging of your piece.

I liked the flashback bits that you had throughout the story. I thought it was an interesting way to develop the characters while still letting the story progress in a more natural way. Near the end I was a little confused about where exactly in the timeline the flashbacks were, since they seemed really close to the present time, but that was the only gripe I had with them.

There were some parts of the story where everything was quite detailed, and then there were others that felt like you sort of skimmed through them to try and get to the "good" parts. You mentioned how Disa had gotten pregnant and then married, but you never mentioned the kid again and everything in that chunk of time felt really rushed. You also talked about how Disa's husband was cheating, and the fighting bit between Chris and her husband, but that was almost skimmed over as well to get to the more "interesting" parts. Filling out those filler-type areas would really help with the character development and pacing of the chapter, to make it seem more consistent and less choppy.

Thanks for entering!

Omg please continue

This story is so well written, its long and descriptive. Its almost as if you were there. I loved the flashbacks in the beginning especially, they were silly and cute and they made me giggle.

I know that the contest has been going on and on but, I am finally reading all of the entries. And they will be determined tonight or tomorrow.

Extremely well-written! I loved it, and I can tell you're an awesome writer! Very-very good!

i liked your entry a lot! nice job; it was very well written! C= i liked the way you write. very noice entry. C=

I love the story, bit intrested to find out ow true this would be:P
I think its a very wellwritten story and I think you should continue as imvery intrigued x

Thanks for the credit :D
For what it's worth, I think you should work on that sequel, or whatever it is that you had in mind. It's always interesting to see what goes on in that head of yours ;)