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The Black Pawn - Comments

  • Little Robyn;

    Little Robyn; (100)

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    Wow. I absolutely adore this! Your writing is beautiful and your diction is seamless! Update soon?
    January 21st, 2012 at 06:13pm
  • tonic

    tonic (100)

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    It’s clear that you know what you’re doing. Your vocabulary is immaculate and you’ve kept a steady flow throughout the entire story, not once rushing. Émile’s personality is consistent. His words and actions are in character, making him seem very realistic.

    I must admit, I’ve enjoyed the way that Fletcher infuriates him. Something about a cold-blooded killer so incensed over something so simple as a few ignorant actions made by his target, no less, amuses me. I’m interested as to where you will go with this.

    When they kissed? Brilliant. “I'm sorry Fletcher, but Istill don't know what it's like to be kissed against my will.”

    I can honestly say that I haven’t found that’s truly wrong with this story, perhaps it’s a little slow at times, however you’ve redeemed yourself with your flair for writing.
    June 3rd, 2011 at 05:07pm
  • SomeYouGiveAway

    SomeYouGiveAway (100)

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    Sweden
    Loving this! It's fresh, intelligent and original. Keep 'em coming!
    May 23rd, 2011 at 06:40pm
  • Roden.

    Roden. (100)

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    This is really good. I've never read anything like this before I loved everything you said it was about. I love Emile and I feel so bad for Fletcher :( I wonder what's gonna happen. I'll be subscribing :)
    April 20th, 2011 at 05:43pm
  • in spirit

    in spirit (100)

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    Location:
    Canada
    I absolutely loved the detail in the story; the writing style seemed to suit the style of the story very well.
    It's a unique idea, not something I would normally read but ironically those are the stories I end up enjoying most. It's a change of pace for me and I always enjoy that.
    The only thing I can warn you about, for future, is that it seems like it could become cliche/predictable (Jack Bauer?). As long as you're careful about, it won't.
    Overall, really nice job. I enjoyed reading :)
    April 20th, 2011 at 04:55pm
  • FreyaBalance.

    FreyaBalance. (150)

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    Location:
    Great Britain (UK)
    This is soo good! The detail in the story is amazng! Everything is perfect to the end!

    The characters are also really intriguing, Both Fletcher and Emile. Seriously good story and you should definately continue!
    April 20th, 2011 at 04:29pm
  • Painter's Dream

    Painter's Dream (200)

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    The detail is amazing, the layout matches with the story, the imagery; I thought I was watching it for my very eyes! Emille sounds..interesting xD I really like this story and I hope you update soon! :D
    April 20th, 2011 at 04:22pm
  • break.my.bones

    break.my.bones (100)

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    Location:
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    update this soon pleease!!
    April 19th, 2011 at 08:04pm
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