Think you need to look over yor story and fix he grammer, capitalization and spelling mistakes. It was a little distracting to be honest. I like the story and the idea, I found it to be very well thought out and I like the characters and such. The layout it good all though I'm not a fan on black backgrounds.
YAY cant wait for the next chapter an haha paintballing that sounds fucking awesome man and oh my shes falling in love with him AGAin! an i think she should really tell him who she is he needs to know!!!!! ><
I love this story but I can't take it anymore. Your grammar sucks and it seems as though you can't capitalize properly. And you keep switching from present tense to past tense in the same paragraph. I don't mean to sound like that one evil snob but I just can't read a story like this. Maybe you should reread and have someone else read it before you post it on Mibba.