What If I'm Afraid to Love Again - Comments

i like it. hopefully you will update soon. :)

Ooooh...i likey :)

i love it keep it up :)

This sounds like a great story, but, honestly... I couldn't keep reading after the first sentence because it was such a run-on. I would seriously recommend a beta. But it sounds like a great idea(:

Uh oh Jacobs in trouble ;)
Update soon yeah?

I wasn't expecting a gang, or let alone her killing someone.
I was shocked, but in a good way yeah!
Update soon yeah?

I like it so far, aw man you left me on a cliff hanger :(
update soon yeah?

I'm still very much hoping that you explain the time she was gone since at 17 and a runaway, unless someone took her in (illegally) there's no way she has her own place (she'd need someone to co-sign for one anyway, so she'd need a legal guardian) and she definitely wouldn't have enough money.

Once again, structurally the story is fine and it has nice flow, but so far, the backstory needs a lot of work for it to actually make sense.

This is amazing.

I'm liking it so far but I have a few things to point out to you. The first being I'm not sure how a man with no remorse over his drinking could be heartbroken, claim he wants other people to feel his pain and then eventually commit suicide over it. He may never state that he regrets what he did or that he knows what he did is wrong, but the actions you're making him have imply that he does think that, but just won't accept it.

Another thing I'm worried about is claiming that Sienna doesn't care that her dad committed suicide. She can claim she doesn't care all she wants, but hopefully you will show that she does care because even if he was abusive and an alcoholic and she did run away, he will always have been her dad and part of her will always care. She won't like that she cares, but she will definitely care. It's part of being human.

I also hope you give a little insight as to how she survived after she ran away from home. Did she go to a relatives house? If so, did her dad just not call the police? Because as a minor, the cops would have searched for her if she'd been reported missing or ran away and unless he was deemed incompetent by a court of law, she would have been forced to go back if she'd been found.

Also, a small thing but don't put links in the story, put them in the author's note and the way to turn them into links is. [url=put your url here]Your link name here[/url]. I do have high hopes for you and this story because you do seem to have nice sentence structure and a good story idea. Just try to make sure you flesh out all the plot details and make it as solid as possible.