brilliant, really.
August 25th, 2011 at 04:45am
Hey this is Bear, just finally following up on the judging for the competition that you entered this in! (I know, I know, I'm totally slack, sorry about that)
Anyways :)
Personally I really, really loved this. I loved the sort of fluidity it evoked, the musk, the sensuality. That sort of false loved that came out of it all, and what I saw as double entendres throughout the whole thing. I also loved how you likened flavours and flowers and smells and objects to the movement, and it all made sense.
The only thing I could really say in any sort of criticism is that the last line didn't seem to gel quite right. I think I understood what you were saying, but it didn't really work with the rhythm. Do you know what I mean? I don't know, maybe I'm just making that up.
Anyway, I thought this was brilliant. Keep them coming!
~Bear
