You're An Ass. But You're Also Sorta Cute. I Hate That. - Comments

When you mentioned that Merlin ended I cried. I've just watched the last one, and I swear it made me want to kill the BBC.

But anyway, I loved this story. Bradley James is just to sexy for words.

Firstly, you're lovely for writing a Bradley James fanfiction. It's a pleasure to read the banter that I would imagine him doing. However, my pet peeve is that it's difficult to tell who's speaking the dialogue. You need to ensure that a reader isn't deterred by such confusions, as it ruins the flow of the story. Say this line:

"“He’s so going to get into your pants by the end of the series.” I sat back on the table next to him. “Seriously. Be safe.” I shook my head."

You could change it to:

"“He’s so going to get into your pants by the end of the series,” teased Josh as I sat back on the table next to him. “Seriously. Be safe.” I shook my head."

The incision of those two words give more flavour to the language, and hint that Josh & Lillie have a close platonic relationship where they can jest together. Other than that, I think you've done a fantastic job.

<3 bradley is amazing <3 you have no idea how much i love him, and the fact that he has a story about him up on mibba!