Covetousness. - Comments

I fucking love Eric. I'm rewatching all the seasons of True Blood and am on the first episode of the second season when Eric goes psycho after getting a cross in his face lol. It just made me really want to read about him. I'm so glad one of the stories I came across was written by you. You always have the best one shots and I really need to go through more of your stories. :) I also need to read the damn Sookie Stackhouse chronicles.

Out of all the Vampire stories I've read on Mibba, yours is by far my favorite and the best. I've watched True Blood maybe once or twice, but I'm familiar with the characters enough to know. Your descriptions were my favorite, the mysterious, suspenseful feeling I got reading them, so I would have to agree with Rose Red on that aspect. But overall, I thought you captured the darkness of their world pretty good.

You're so talented. I really enjoyed this. It was interesting to get inside Bill's head. He seemed a bit reserved about Sookie and Eric, I thought maybe his thoughts would be a bit erratic or angry. That's the joy of writing fan fiction though, you can do anything with a character.

How could he compare to a heart of a thousand years? A millennium of charm on the tip of his tongue. that was such a wonderful description of Eric. It had me grinning.

It's a small amount of writing but it's just right. Great job. :)

I never watched/ read True Blood, so I wouldn’t know much about this, but I have to say it was still very nice reading it even though I don’t know anything about it. So, about the story itself; the first line and the last line where both an excellent way to open and close. Couldn’t have said it any better.

Personally I like it when you wrote: How could he compare to a heart of a thousand years? A millennium of charm on the tip of his tongue. I can’t describe these words; they’re just so well done/placed. Also, when you say It was worse than he could imagine the true death. the “the” seems awkward to me. Maybe because it’s specific to True Blood, in that case keep it as is. Overall an enjoying piece.

This really felt like a prolouge to me and I think it could really benefit if you continued or atleast went deeper in your one shot. I realize it's a fanfic and my not knowing of the origional story could have taken some of the enjoyment away for me, I don't know, but at the same time I think you should have added a bit more background. I did however like the way you described the man's emotions, that was very real and descriptive and well written.

This is brilliant m'dear! Your writing just gets better and better I swear! <3

First of all, I really liked your writing style. It was descriptive, yet not too much so. Interesting without being overwhelming, and I could really get a sense of Bill's emotions. These lines were my favorite: All along, he relied on the fact that he was in love with her to keep her as his. But love wasn’t enough. Like I said, the description is lovely and really pulls me in.

The only real crit I can say is that I think this would work better if it was longer, at least 500 words longer. The beginning really pulls me in, but I feel like I'm cut off from the storyline at the end, like I'm missing over half the story.