To Never Turn Back - Comments

I like it, I'm pretty sure we all had that moment when when we looked back at pictures or at our old past and thought how far we've have come or how far you wanted to go differently than what happened. And you think to yourself and wonder what have I done wrong or why can't I just relive this again. But we can on;y move forward but living in the future is just as bad as living in he past, you can only live in the present. So I liked it it got me thinking about all that has happened to me and i wish I could relive it or relive it in a different way.

Well, there wasn't much to read. Was this just a one shot or were you going to write more to it? I liked the idea of looking into the picture frames. There weren’t any grammatical errors I could find. And even though this was just a drabble, I liked the ideas put forth in it. I liked the imagery and the ideas with in the frames were good.

Do you have other stories in the mibba comment swap thing? I think you should put those up. I liked your writing style. I think a longer story might be good.

Well, there wasn't much to read. I liked the idea of looking into the picture frames.

The title is great. No spelling errors! That's something I always look for. By now its just a habit. I like the emotions you were trying (and suceeded) in creating in this drabble. There was one thing you could do without and that is all those commas. Every sentence had a comma even though they weren't necessary. You should also omit needless words. For example:

"Looking along that long hallway, with all those old picture frames, it brought emotions crashing through my veins." Maybe you could have tried this instead: "The long hallway covered in old picture frames brought back bittersweet memories."

"No child’s remedy, shall work on me." This sentence doesn't need the comma after remedy.

Yet still the pain, it springs forth, its shrouded fount secretive. Perhaps it is this place I’m at, in life’s cruel gambit. The first sentence sounds incomplete. I would write it like this, "Yet the pain it brings forth is a secretive fount."

Anyway, thank you for entering my contest. I will PM the winners and post them on the contest forum as well:)

I liked this and I liked how detailed it was.

Wow this one is great too. I really need to use words other than fantastic and amaizing because they're starting to lose meaning so just for you I am going to look up a new word to describe this and hope that it acutally fits. And the word is.... Dazzling. Yup. your work is a splendid brand of literature that I have yet to find anything like. It's like poetry in story form and because I am only semi-educated I have yet to find a better way to say that. Great job :)

Your writing is slant rhymed once more! I love that so much, I may have to try that technique out myself. This layout was a pre-made layout, wasn’t it? I won’t comment on it. xD I do have to comment on your pausing once more. Some commas are a bit too much. I feel like you’re placing some of them that don’t need to be there for stylistic purposes and those are okay, but then there are a few more that make it feel choppy. Other than that…yeah, I just gush over your writing in general. Do you use a thesaurus when you write? You just use such lovely, descriptive words that paint a picture in the reader’s head.

Le sigh. I’m jealous of your skills. <3 Haven

I agree with both other comments, just so I don't say anything new... I really liked this story, though it felt more like a monologue from a play, I really liked it. I felt a sense of longing and wishing while reading it, which is what I hope you were going for. I didn't see anything wrong with it except the first part of the first line 'Looking along that long hallway' try to avoid using the same word within a short period of time.... I would have instead said 'looking down that long hallway', or looking along that endless hallway', you get my drift... XD <# Well anyways.... Loved the story, really short, but really great!

I absolutely love it <33 a
I agree with "XxDoubtfulxX"
I love the details you gave here.
Its almost as if i could picture myself in the long hallway.
Honestly, im a sucker for big amazing words with lots of meanings & sounds, &
Detailing. c:
It was worth the time i spend reading this.

Really, really touching.... Love the description, metaphors, etc, etc, etc xP
It was really interesting to read :D It showed a very exact image, I could see the hall and the pictures perfectly.
Wonderful word choice <3