There's So Much Beauty When Your Eyes Lay Lost in All the City Lights - Comments

I really liked your beginning! It was creative and original and it really drew you into the story. You had a great use of dialogue as well! You managed to keep your story interesting and humorous and that always makes a good read :) Theres just a few typos so just quickly scan your work one more time but other than that it's good! :)

Hi! Great humor and dialogue, although there could be better spacing and more description of scenes. I enjoy Escape the Fate, so when I first started reading it was refreshing to read a piece of fiction about them. I don't normally read fan fiction, but your story has me interested. Keep up the good work and I will be following and reading more of your writings. :)

Hey! Commet swap child. C:

I had some likes and dislikes about this.

Likes:
***This story is fun, it makes me smiles at points (Which is hard to do I may add.)
***Escape The Fate? Motionless in White? <3 My obsessions right now. Kudos to you.
*** I enjoy the way you write. It's nice and easy to understand.

Dislikes:
*** You really need to space out when people talk into paragraphs. The first chapter really confused me, because it was alll clumped together.

Over all well done. C: Keep on writing.

Ha, I love your humor. I hate to sound like everyone else, but I do fancy the color coordination. But you might want to separate the space from the text more. So it's easier to read ya know? Just try to create paragraphs, and indent when different characters talk. Oh and you might want to fix the capitalization in the title as well. That's all the cons. Again I love your quirky humor, and you're doing a swell job with the story. Congrats! Hope for a new update soon!

Hey, I really love this story. It started kind of slow but once I got to the second chapter I was like this is awesome. I read the entire thing in about two hours. Keep up the good work and I am officially subscribed. I can't wait to read more:)

Comment Swap brought me here and to tell you the truth i don't really know too much about them but you are a really good writer! I like the layout a lot. The purple really contrasts with the black so its easy to read! Im usually not a fan of colored text because its hard to read but this is really good! :)

Hey there, so far you have a really good storyline going. I didn't notice any grammar or spelling issues. I can't wait to read more. Keep up the goo work:)

First off, you need to fix your title! Having improper title capitalization can get your story reported, which you want to avoid! I also think it might be a little too long, but that's just my opinion.
I hope you keep writing this story and working hard on it! Just keep editing and developing the plot!

This is a really fun story. I like the layout you chose, and the purple against the black gives a nice contrast. Just watch out for spelling, but that's not a big issue for you. The character descriptions are really good, and this story is just ridiculous (in a good way) enough to be really funny and easy to read. I might suggest changing the way you switch the point of view to making a different chapter, or just making a bigger deal about the switch. Keep it up!

<3 love it :)