Daddy's Girl - Comments

I'm here as a judge for the Pick a Sentence, Write About It contest.

I don't like reading incest in general, so I'm not really going to comment on those parts much. However, I won't let that change my opinion of the entry overall.

I thought it was interesting that you chose to write this topic for your prompt. It was a more unique take on the prompt itself so I appreciated that.

I would have liked to see more character development throughout the story. Everything felt very shallow, like we didn't actually know that much about any of the characters, which made it difficult to actually get invested in the story. Even with Mary and her dad, we didn't really get the see much of the emotion behind what they were doing. Yeah, they said they loved each other, but because we didn't see anything else it felt weirdly rushed.

I also would have liked to see some more development and descriptions around the setting. Again, it felt very shallow because you only described things that were absolutely necessary, and even then it was super detailed. This also made it hard to get invested in the story because I couldn't really imagine what was happening, it never went any deeper than then most simple layer.

Thanks for entering!

Very good.

*sits on floor, shivering and rocking back and forth*

this is really good you should make a sequel!

Amazing... I love it. Make a sequel?

this is digusting u have a sick mind
i mean who writes about this ish like seriously whats worng with u

CRazzyyyy, but you definitely are a good writer, I almost imagined that she was going to try to kill her mom at the end. lol The stuff I write is pretty messed up too, you should check out my completed story =)

The beginning was a little slow but it quickly picked up and I enjoyed this story a lot. You managed to write an interesting ending and I'm left wanting more. Here is what I suggest:

1) Sit your cute little butt down
2) Open Word
3) Write a sequel
4) Post it here on Mibba

I loved the way the story went. very good. :)

Really awesome!
Update asap :o

Awsome!
Please update!
x

This is REALLY good!!!! :) keep it up :)

Thanks :D I appreciate the feedback!

DAMN!!!!! This is good stuff. I