August 29th, 2011 at 06:14pm
This was cute, but there was a bit of something missing I think.
I was also a bit confused about the italicized part. I knew it was supposed to be a time change, but unless I missed it, I couldn't tell how long of a time it was in between the parts.
Your writing style was great here, and I loved how you phrased everything.
It related well to the picture, if you imagined it right, but for some reason, the relation was just lacking something. I'm not sure what exactly it was, but throughout the whole story there was just a tiny bit of something that lacked. I cannot quite figure out what it was.
I wish I could say more about this, because this comment is on the short side for me, but I just cannot quite say what I want to say.
I did really like the story, but I only wish I could figure out what I feel is missing.
I'm sorry this isn't more helpful of a review, but I guess it is what it is...
This was super cute, and fairly great. :D
Slash and twincest. YUMMY!
haha.
I love the layout. The picture is adorable and the layout is dark and mysterious, totally contrasting with the picture. I like that. :)
I thought it was a good story. The ending put a smile on my face. You did something Author's here never do: make a mother act like an actual mother. I know I rarely do that. Actually, I never do that.
I don't think there were any flaws in it but like said in the comment above mine, I think I missed the time skip. It must have been a few months, maybe years later. I don't know.
But overall, it's great. :)