Arranged. - Comments

I really love the way this is going.
Hope you update soon!

C.U.T.E. :D

D'awwh,
Elise is so fricken adorable

Fluffy is good. Sometimes it's what we all need

This is really good! It's a sweet idea and there are just so many places to go with this. I do feel however you can take the emotions a bit farther, but I absolutely love the characters. I just hope as this story progresses I can gain more insight into them. :)

~Kali

This is really good.Update please xD

Yay!!! I've been looking for a story like this!! So far its good. I can't wait to see what happens. Update soon!!!

This is an original story, I like it.

I really love the way this is going.
Hope you update soon!

Beep, beep—I'm back! This time with things I like, and things I'd like to suggest.

Things I liked:

*The reaction to one another was believable. Of course Nentel wouldn't favor to Elsie too much. It's very nice. (:

*Nentel and Elsie's relationship is pretty cute already.

Suggestions/tips:

*You capitalizing the M in mother and the F in father. Here's a useful tip: If you are referring to the parents as "my dad" or "my mom," you musn't capitalize the first letter. Only if you are referring to them as "Dad" or "Mom" do you capitalize them.

*Still some mistakes here and there. I suggest reading through your chapters twice before posting them.

*“Don’t worry Nentel, doll.” I told him. “I’ll see you when we get home.” I told him. You said 'I told him' twice. Sounds weird.

Overall, I don't have much to say! The new chapters were very nice, and I'm looking forward to reading more. (:

Elise is adorable.
I have a feeling that Tez is gonna freak out in the morning

Yay for Tez not being a complete ass when he's half-asleep :D
But poor Elsie, having nightmares and the whole situation D:

Such an amazing story

I love the idea of this story, and the style it's written in is great ^-^
This sounds like it's going to be an interesting and wild rollercoaster of a read :D

I like this idea, very much. Pretty original, and I'm looking forward to reading this. It's just the execution that I'm having a little trouble with. You're starting off the very first chapter with him finding out? I wish there was a little more background on him and his family and friends before this sudden finding out.

He seems to be very, very laid-back with being married, too. No shock, no inner turmoil, just a simple "I don't want to marry a girl". It didn't feel very believable to me at all. No real emotion; I know I'd have some kind of shocked feeling if I found out I was suddenly going to be married. And living with them, at that. I understand he showed some reaction to it at the very end of the chapter, but I'd expect it to happen once she tells him, not a long while after.

And, with that said, there's a few grammatical errors I'd like to point out. Your use of 'you're' is incorrect as some points. Such as, "Elsie, you're father and I have something very important to tell you." The 'your' in the sentence is in correct. You're = you are. "Elsie, you are father..." doesn't make sense.

You also did the same thing in this sentence: "You're father is waiting at the airport..."

You also have an extra 'e' after 'fiancé' in one of the sentences.

These sentences also confuse me: "Then what of the family I'm marrying into? How did you afford this one for me? Do yo even care that you're giving you're only child away?" I don't understand what you're trying to say in the first sentence, you missed the 'u' in 'you,' and you mis-used one of the 'you're''s in it again.

I'm not trying to seem bratty or critical of the first chapter; I find it a very good idea, actually. I just want to help. Thanks for reading!