Inuyasha Confesses - Comments

haha thx

FaithnPixie dust person i thibk ur correcting her to much. Just let her write the way she wants. I dont think she will want u to keep taking up her page like this!
~.~

Chapter Two Edit:
Kagome kept walking. She didn't notice that Inuyasha was following her until he put his hand on her shoulder to stop her from walking.

"What happened, Kagome?"

She didnt turn around to face him. She looked at her feet instead. "Inuyasha, I'm sorry for what I did back there...."

He cut her off. "Damn it, Kagome! Answer the question!" Kagome flinched at his angry tone and how his grip tightened on her shoulder.

"Nothing happened that usually happens when I talk to Kikyo. She cares about you.....I think..... and I know you care about her." Kagome's voice droped to a whisper "How could she have even thought you cared about me in the same way as you care about her? I don't know."

His hand dropped from her shoulder and he stood closer behind her. Kagome could feel his breath on her neck as he whispered her name.

"Kagome....." His lips brushed against her neck and he put his hand on her arms to hold her closer to him.

"You're going to hate me for this, but I heard everything that you and Kikyo said to each other. Kagome, I don't want you to go. Not unless you have to. Don't let Kikyo run you off. I know you're stronger than that."

Kagome stiffened at his words and they played over and over in her mind. "Everything?" she asked in a hoarse voice.

"Eveything." He replied.

Kagome stepped away from him turning to look into his eyes. What she saw nearly made her heart stop beating. Kagome saw a tenderness in his eyes that she had never seen before, only when he looked at Kikyo. But this thime he was looking at her.

'He really doent want me to go. He wants me to stay with him.' Kagome thought to herself. But to Kagome's dismay, something rustled in the bushes behind her. When she turned around she saw Kikyo. Inuyasha took a step toward around her as if to protect Kagome from her. When she spoke it was like she wasn't there at all.

"Hello Inuyasha."

"Kikyo" He replied.

Kagome could here some emotion in his voice, love and pain mixed together.

"How could you, Inuyasha? That girl means nothing to you! I'm what you want and you know that! Don't try to mislead that poor little wretch into thinking you care even a little bit about her!"

Kagome became enraged and she steped around Inuyasha to glare at Kikyo.

"Poor little wretch am I, Kikyo? Well, what are you?! You walk the earth using the souls of the dead to keep you going! You walk with hatred in your heart for the guy we both love! How you can hate and love at the same time? I don't know, but you are done with trying to get me out of his life! I'm here to stay whether you like it or not."

Kikyo looked shocked at her reaction, the words made her take a few steps back and Kagome forgot Inuyasha was right behind her.

Kikyo glared at Kagome and said, "We may love the same person, but I am sure he only loves one of us." She looked over Kagome's shoulder at Inuyasha. She heard him take a step back and felt the heartache that she was waiting for. The rejecetion that envaloped her.

"Kikyo.....I can't choose between the both of you."

Kikyo smirked. "I already know the answer, Inuyasha, and so does she. All you have to do is accept it."

Kagome's eyes went dead and she turned to face Inuyasha.She could see pain and agony written on his face. As Kagome walked past him, she said, "I'm not leaving Inuyasha, I wouldn't know where to go. Do what you want, she's right. I do know the answer.".

Kagome looked up and smiled slightly at his confused look. "I'll be back at the campsite when you're done." Kagome looked into the woods and saidm "C'mon guys, back to camp. I know you're out there!" And she walked in the direction of the camp leaving Inuyasha and Kikyo alone.

Here's how I fixed it up after I glanced at it again.

Kagome watched as Inuyasha slept. She couldn't fall asleep herself because she knew she would end up leaving him soon enough. To protect her heart from the ache it was about to go through.

A few nights ago when Kagome was in the woods alone, she had ran into the one person who she would glady get rid of. Kikyo. But something was different about her. She had looked...weak.

If something happened sometime prior to the story and Kagome is thinking about it, try putting it into italics if you're writing out the scene. Like this:

Kikyo looked at Kagame and her gaze held Kagome in place. She made her way slowly to Kagome with a smile on her face that made Kagome feel cold shivers of fear.

"Kagome what a nice surprise. To see you here all alone. How is my Inuyasha?" Her smile widened as Kagome glared at her.

"Why don't you go and ask him yourself? Once he picks up your scent, he'll come looking for you." Kagome knew that she was speaking too loudly, but she didn't care. Kikyo's smile faded while she spoke.

"I know you are right, Kagome. Maybe I should leave now." There was a strange undertone in her voice that made Kagome wonder.

In spite of herself she asked, "What's wrong Kikyo?"

Kikyo looked away from Kagome, setting her free from her gaze and said, "I know how you feel about Inuyasha and he feels the same way, Kagome. But I won't let him confess that to you. Not while I'm walking the earth."

Suddenly Kagome was on her back with Kikyo's angry eyes glaring down at her. She wasn't shocked. Kagome knew something like this was coming. "He doesn't love me, Kikyo! His heart still belongs to you." She said in a broken voice.

Kikyo's eyes softend at hearing the sadness in her reincarnation's voice, but she chose to ignore it. "If you know what's good for you, Kagome, you would go back to your own world and leave Inuyasha and your friends, or I will make you." The priestess said in a threatening tone.

Kagome watched as Kikyo stood up and walked deeper into the woods, but she didn't bother to move. She curled up into a ball of sorrow and pain, letting let silent tears flow down her face. She didn't notice she had fallen asleep until she heard someone sniff the air around her.

"Kikyo was here." he muttered. "Kagome are you alright?" he asked now close to her ear.

"Yes, Kikyo was here. Now go look for her like you always do and leave me alone, Inuyasha." Kagome stretched out of the ball she was in a stood up then pointed to the north side of the woods

"She went that way." Kagome watched his face, looking for a sign that he would go after her and it was all there. The way he looked in the direction she pointed to him, the way his eyes became hopeful and she couldn't take it anymore. Kagome turned her back on him and began to run as fast as she could through the forest, knowing that he wouldn't come after her.

Now as she sat there remembering it, all tears of sheer agony ran slowly down her face. Shippo, Sango, and Kirraa were sound asleep, but Inuyasha was a light sleeper and he heard Kagome sobbing. She didn't notice when Inuyasha had sat up and looked at her, wondering what she was crying for.

"Kagome? Are you alright?" He asked softly.

She brushed her tears away quickly so he wouldn't see them. "I'm fine Inuyasha." She looked away from him and heard him mumble something about how she was a bad liar. Kagome glared back at him said only one sentence. "Sit boy!"

BOOM!

He went through the ground and everyone woke up.

"Oh no." Shippo said.

"Not again." Sango and Miroku said.

Kagome looked at them all. "I'm sorry guys, I didn't mean to wake you up." Kagome got up and walked off into the woods. She wasn't looking left, right or even behind her as Inuyasha rose and began to follow her silently.

---

Sorry but the way you had the chapter written was confusing. But you don't have to follow my example. I just want to see your writing skills improve and I hope that you won't see this as a flame. :)

Oh and try to be a bit more detailed and instead of saying "Said" all the time, try to substitute the word said with something different. There's a thread in the writing tips forum with some nice tips if you want to take a loook at it. :)

Here's how I fixed it up after I glanced at it again.

Kagome watched as Inuyasha slept. She couldn't fall asleep herself because she knew she would end up leaving him soon enough. To protect her heart from the ache it was about to go through.

A few nights ago when Kagome was in the woods alone, she had ran into the one person who she would glady get rid of. Kikyo. But something was different about her. She had looked...weak.

If somethin happened sometime prior to the story and Kagome is thinking about it, try putting it into italics if you're writing out the scene. Like this:

Kikyo looked at Kagame and her gaze held Kagome in place. She made her way slowly to Kagome with a smile on her face that made Kagome feel cold shivers of fear.

"Kagome what a nice surprise. To see you here all alone. How is my Inuyasha?" Her smile widened as Kagome glared at her.

"Why don't you go and ask him yourself? Once he picks up your scent, he'll come looking for you." Kagome knew that she was speaking too loudly, but she didn't care. Kikyo's smile faded while she spoke.

"I know you are right Kagome. Maybe I should leave now." There was a strange undertone in her voice that made Kagome wonder.

In spite of herself she asked, "What's wrong Kikyo?"

Kikyo looked away from Kagome, setting her free from her gaze and said, "I know how you feel about Inuyasha and he feels the same way, Kagome. But I won't let him confess that to you. Not while I'm walking the earth."

Suddenly Kagome was on her back with Kikyo's angry eyes glaring down at her. She wasn't shocked. Kagome knew something like this was coming. "He doesn't love me, Kikyo! His heart still belongs to you." She said in a broken voice.

Kikyo's eyes softend at hearing the sadness in her reincarnation's voice, but she chose to ignore it. "If you know what's good for you, Kagome, you would go back to your own world and leave Inuyasha and your friends, or I will make you." The priestess said in a threatening tone.

Kagome watched as Kikyo stood up and walked deeper into the woods, but she didn't bother to move. She curled up into a ball of sorrow and pain, letting let silent tears flow down her face. She didn't notice she had fallen asleep until she heard someone sniff the air around her.

"Kikyo was here." he muttered. "Kagome are you alright?" he asked now close to her ear.

"Yes, Kikyo was here. Now go look for her like you always do and leave me alone, Inuyasha." Kagome stretched out of the ball she was in a stood up then pointed to the north side of the woods

"She went that way." Kagome watched his face, looking for a sign that he would go after her and it was all there. The way he looked in the direction she pointed to him, the way his eyes became hopeful and she couldn't take it anymore. Kagome turned her back on him and began to run as fast as she could through the forest, knowing that he wouldn't come after her.

Now as she sat there remembering it, all tears of sheer agony ran slowly down her face. Shippo, Sango, and Kirraa were sound asleep, but Inuyasha was a light sleeper and he heard Kagome sobbing. She didn't notice when Inuyasha had sat up and looked at her, wondering what she was crying for.

"Kagome? Are you alright?" He asked softly.

She brushed her tears away quickly so he wouldn't see them. "I'm fine Inuyasha." She looked away from him and heard him mumble something about how she was a bad liar. Kagome glared back at him said only one sentence. "Sit boy!"

BOOM!

He went through the ground and everyone woke up.

"Oh no." Shippo said.

"Not again." Sango and Miroku said.

Kagome looked at them all. "I'm sorry guys, I didn't mean to wake you up." Kagome got up and walked off into the woods. She wasn't looking left, right or even behind her as Inuyasha rose and began to follow her silently.

---

Sorry but the way you had the chapter written was confusing. But you don't have to follow my example. I just want to see your writing skills improve and I hope that you won't see this as a flame. :)

Oh and try to be a bit more detailed and instead of saying "Said" all the time, try to substitute the word said with something different. There's a thread in the writing tips forum with some nice tips if you want to take a loook at it. :)

You're also missing a lot of commas that should be there, and Songo is spelled as Sango.

Like this:

Kagome watched as Inuyasha slept. She couldnt sleep herself because she knew she would end up leaving him soon enough. To protect her heart from the ache it was about to go through.

A few nights ago when Kagome was in the woods alone she ran into the one person who she would glady get rid of. Kikyo. But something was different about her. She looked.....weak. Kikyo looked at Kagame and her gaze held Kagome in place. She made her way slowly to Kagome with a smile on her face that made Kagome feel cold shivers of fear.

"Kagome what a nice surprise. To see you here all alone. How is my Inuyasha?" Her smile widened as Kagome glared at her.

"Why don't you go and ask him yourself? Once he picks up your scent he'll come looking for you." Kagome knew that she was speeking too loudly but she didn't care. While she was speaking

Kikyo's smile faded. "I know you are right Kagome. Maybe I should leave now." There was an undertone in her voice that made Kagome wonder.

In spite of herself she asked "What's wrong Kikyo?"

Kikyo looked away from Kagome, setting her free from her gaze and said "I know how you feel about Inuyasha and he feels the same way Kagome. But I wont let him confess that to you. Not while i'm walking the earth."

Suddenly Kagome was on her back with Kikyo's angry eyes glareing down at her. She wasn't shocked, Kagome knew something like this was comming so she said " He does not love me Kikyo.His heart still belongs to you." with a broken voice.

Kikyo's eyes softend and she said " If you know what's good for you Kagome you would go back to your own world and leave Inuyasha and your friends, or I will make you."

Kagome watched as Kikyo stood up and walked deeper into the woods, but she didnt bother to move. She curled up into a ball of sorrow and pain and let silent tears flow down her face. She didn't notice she had fallen asleep until she heard someone sniff the air around her.

"Kikyo was here." he muttered. "Kagome are you alright?" he asked now close to her ear.

"Yes Kikyo was here. Now go look for her like you always do and leave me alone Inuyasha." Kagome stretched out of the ball she was in a stood up then pointed to the north side of the woods

"She went that way." Kagome watched his face, looking for a sign that he would go after Kikyo and it was all there. The way he looked in the direction she pointed to him, the way his eyes became hopeful and she couldn't take it anymore. Kagome turned her back on him and began to run as fast as she could through the forest, knowing that he wouldn't come after her.

Now as she sat there remembering it all tears of sheer agony ran slowly down her face. Shippo, Songo, and Kirra were sound asleep, but Inuyasha was a light sleeper and he heard Kagome sobbing. She didn't notice when Inuyasha sat up and looked at her, wondering what she was crying for.

"Kagome? Are you alright?" he asked softly.

She brushed her tears away quickly so he wouldn't see them. "I'm fine Inuyasha." She looked away from him and heard him mumble something about how you were a bad liar. Kagome glared back at him and said "Inuyasha sit!"

BOOM!

he went through the ground and everyone woke up.

"Oh no." Shippo said. "Not again" Songo and Miroku said.

Kagome looked at them all. "I'm sorry guys, I didn't mean to wake you up." Then Kagome got up and walked off into the woods not looking left, right or even behind her as Inuyasha rose and began to follow her silently.

---

And also I see a lot of grammar mistakes. Would you like to beta this for youto fix it up some? You spelled Kirara wrong. Or Kilala.

It would help if you didn't make each chapter one big paragraph. It gets kind of confusing or rather the flow of the story gets jumbled up. Try making the chapters into a lot of paragraph like separating the parts where characters speak into their own paragraphs.

:) I'm glad u like it :)

Thanks a bunches for writing this! I love it!!!

thx!!!! :D

Interesting, very interesting, I wonder if ever Kagome will figure out Naraku is her father. But it is very good

-grins- well thanks sooo much :) hope u like the minor twists tht r about to come

Hi hi :3 I love this... Because I'm a huge fan of Inuyasha xDD Teehee

Cute. I used to watch this show quite some time ago and loved it. Keep writing it's great so far!