Janie's Eternal Freedom - Comments

I loved every word I just read, Please update!!

Also I was wondering if your read mine and maybe give me some feed back??

Loved the update! :)
Hm... so Marcus has a good side. One that's normal and cool and stuff. lol. I guess that side is what made Janie ever be with him.
Aw, and Torrin's dad is in a coma? That's sad. :( Hm... I wonder what this says about his character, then? He's probably a lot sweeter than he's let on, though he's shown sweetness. But sometimes he isn't when he's with Libby and all. :/
Great update! You let us know some more about the characters, so it was kind of more than a filler. :)
Can't wait for more! :D

Loved the update! :)
Hm... so you let us in on Janie's family and all, and what happened with them and all. You can't blame her mom, I guess... it's just the typical thing you'd expect her to do, since she didn't get to live her dreams, she wants Janie to do so for her. But she should appreciate what Janie wants.
Aw... and poor Janie, though, with getting picked on by Libby and Jill. :/ They're mean. :(
I thought it was kind of cute how Torrin showed his jealousy with the thought of Janie and Marcus being together. ;) And how he let his guard down for a little while and showing that he cared about her when he saw her crying. Too cute. :)
Great job with the update! Can't wait for more! :D

Good gravy, I'm loving this story. <3

Loved the update! :D
Ooh... so Torrin talks about her a lot, huh? Interesting... does he like her? You seemed to be dropping the hint about that an awful lot, like with all that Rigg told Janie he said, and then him catching her and Marcus in the car and seeming a bit surprised, and disappointed...
But then he was with Libby again. So... idk.
Hm... so will she go to Rigg's party? And if she does, what will go down? :o
Overall, great update! Can't wait for more!
Oh, and thanks for the shout-out in the author's note. :D

So I love Rigg. He seems very nice and stupid, but sweet all the same. Characters like that are very realistic and I think he has a good mind even if he can't do simple algebra, haha. So, very good job with Rigg! Unusual name though, I have to admit.

I cracked up laughing when Rigg noticed his text book had been moved because that is something that seriously could happen in a movie. I loved it. He's not THAT stupid after all, haha! I'm interested in what Torrin sees in Janie and I'm betting he was out there bugging her at her car not because he didn't want to look like a loser - he thinks she's one so why would he hang around one - but because he wanted to be around her, you know? Like, I think he's just being immature and he actually thinks she's neat or whatever. He just calls her a loser because of who he's dating, which I think is funny. He called her a slut. :D

I start my blue BMW I don't think you need to say this again. Just say I started the engine or something.

The whole thing where Torrin busts up in her car is just...out of place and awkward. You could have pulled some dialogue out of that like, he acts like he didn't realize it was hers or some shit when he definitely knew it was. "Oh, sorry, wrong car," he could say and then he'd run off and THEN you could bring in Marcus being a lame-ass. :) It'd read much better.

The ending was sort of funny, haha. I think Marcus sounds like a perv, to be honest, but I'm going to subscribe and see where you take this.

and he talks to me too much that I notice it more than often. This makes 0 sense. I'm not sure what you're trying to say but I think it's something along the lines of he talks to this girl too much, right? Read it out loud, reword it, get a beta.

Including Libby Osbourne, who is conveniently the boyfriend of Torrin. They really are the cutest couple. Not. Libby is a girl, right? So she's the girlfriend of Torrin. Not the boyfriend. :)

I really liked the beginning of chapter one. It had a great opening and pulled me in really fast. Your first chapter is very important, it's what brings in all your readers, which is why I'm a little concerned about the ending. I didn't really like how it just ended on an off note and she was trying to help someone that was being a jerk to her. I mean, that's just really odd and I didn't understand it.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” He says. he should not be capitalized.

I'm going to go off and read some more of this so expect another comment. :)

Loved the first update!
Hm... so... I wonder why Torrin talks to Janie? Since he's part of the popular crowd, and she's not?
I'm very excited to see where you take this story. And I can't wait for more! :D

I'm subscribed and ready for the bumpiness(:(:

Hm... sounds interesting. :)
Can't wait for this to start!
Definitely... subscribed! :D