Damaged Goods - Comments

I am so sorry I haven't gotten to this sooner! My deepest apologies!

I really like this story. I was confused on the jump from chapter one to chapter two...Though, I was extremely surprised that it was Howie's dad that (possibly) raped Rhi? o_o Did not see that coming. I don't know how Howie could ever forgive his father. That's just...awful. -.-

But your writing is lovely, easily descriptive, and flowing. Its easy to read, but it gives me a good picture in my head. It did jump around a little, but other than that, great story! :)

Best of luck to you!

I do need to explain the first chapter, sorry.

Basically, the first chapter - at the library - is set a few years in the future with that one flashback moment of Boxing Day.
Then the rest follow on and are set in the time of that flashback. Or y'know, the weeks following.

In my next edit, I'm adding in some ages and dates etc. to make it, y'know, more evident.

I like this, I like this a lot. But there are some things that are really confusing. In the first chapter, you left off with them in the library with Howie's...friend...and then in the next one Howie knew what had happened. How did Howie and how did Howie not get angry beforehand, especially if he was so near? And how did his father know what he was thinking?

And I really love the way you write. I'm from America, so your use of slang terms is very interesting. Plus, I just had to Google Boxing Day >.< Anyways, this is very interesting and I will be keeping an eyes on it. It's amazing that this thing doesn't have more comments!

I really like this story! It's amazing, and when Rihannon ''recognized'' the voice it got really interesting. I began to literally lean into the computer screen. I was confused at some parts, but in a good way that leaves me wanting more and asking for more!

I was left feeling sympathetic for Howie's dad, although that might change in the next few chapters... I just have to see what he did to ''deserve'' that beating.

I love how you have interlinked the title of your story with Rihannon's thoughts: It has great potential, and I am really curious to see how this develops. It's definitely going to be amazing! *Subscribed*

I recommend reading chapter one through again. I only caught one mistake, but I'd rather you catch it yourself. [: Rhiannon's reaction is, I think, perfect. How she had the memory and kind of shut down.

I like the way you describe everything. I have no trouble getting images or understanding what you're trying to say, which makes me a happy reader.

Howie's silence in chapter two created so much tension. It felt like he was a bomb just waiting to explode. And then when he spoke, it wasn't anything meaningless. It was a few choice sentences.

Very well done! You've got a new reader. [:

This is really interesting. it really gives us a look into Rhiannon's head after the horrific event that she went though; I'm guessing from the flashblack that she was raped? Anyways, your details and emotions and descriptions here are spot on. However, I found a few issues here and there. Nothing too bad, but it did make me stop a few times. I suggest getting a beta for this, as they will help you iron out whatever little kinks that you have here. But overall, great job!

This is well good and I want to see how this go's

This is Amazing.......

damaged good has to be by far one of the best stories *so far* i have read