Ooh, Loki sounds cute (: I thought you said there wasn't a shower in the room? Why is the MC going to take a shower? (: Thought that might've been a little mistake, but yeah. (: Update soon!
This is really good. When I first saw the idea, I was a little bored with it, but you are such a good writer that it immediately got me started. I like how you've been stretching out her insanity slowly, and the latest chapter---about the game of wits---was a nice touch. I would start some action going soon, though...her and her slowly-becoming-insane is getting a little boring (not to be rude). I think you need to start establishing the plot, or some other characters, or something, or your readers may get bored. But that might just be me. I'm excited to see where you take this! (: And I'm sorry it took so long to finish your prize. (:
Wow, I love this! The first chapter is a very good introduction. I love how you have her in various stages of denial. It adds to her general panic in the next chapter. "As soon as I started crying, I would be drowning in the depths of insanity." this line is really amazing. I font even know why, but it just stuck in my mind when I read it. I really love some of the imagery you use to signify her inner turmoil, and the arguments with herself are really hitting. I love what youve done so far, and I really cannot wait to read future chapters :)
this conversation is brought to you by the 2 people in my head who argue about everything: person 1: cmon just eat it you know you want too person 2: no don't listen to him! *whispers* he doesn't wash his hands person 1: nevermind him just eat it. you're starving remember? it wouldn't hurt to just take a bite person 2: no don't fall for it. just go lie down person 1: oh just shove it! she's gonna listen to me anyways person 2: nu-uh! person 1: yea-huh! (this continues for a while lol) anyway great chapter the people in my head just wanted to put their two cents in. update again soon please i can't wait to see if the door opens!
For starters, this seems interesting so far. I may read more, but I'm not sure yet. But as I was saying, for starters, that first 'fuck' is unnecessary. At least, in my opinion. It sort of diminishes the dreamy aspect of this scene. I know most people would probably think that. However, the way you portrayed the person so far is as if she is in an odd drowsy state and 'fuck' might not be the first thing to come to mind when thinking about where she is. Maybe I'm reading too much into this one word, but maybe, 'hell' would suffice instead of 'fuck'. Such as; where the hell I am? That, at least, would flow better. Okay. Yeah. I am reading too deeply into that one word. Anyways, it seems interesting, but I'm going to stop there for now. Just wanted to finally get that comment to you since I've made you wait so long for it.
nice i like this kind of stuff where people start to lose their minds. it makes very good entertainment. except when its happening to you of course but thats a whole different story. please keep this up. i'd like to see if she makes it out alive... and sane..
:O I really really like it! I felt like I myself was trapped there with her. I know personally I would've gone crazy already, I can't handle being in one room for much time and besides, not seeing another human being. ME and ALONE TIME do not go well xD haha
Hope you update soon, I really liked the descriptions and everything.