So I am really happy with how you ended it, because if he had actually gone back to her I would have been left with my jaw dropped. So story content was good, I did find it hard to believe that a girl would choose her boyfriend over who won a race. And I did find the guys who were racing to be complete pigs because a girl is not a prize to be won so why they thought that was okay is beyond me. But the way you ended it made it better. Grammar was good, not many mistakes and the mistakes you did make were little one. I wasn't a huge fan of the layout. Reading a greyish color on a black patterned background strained my eyes a bit. I could still read it but I just didn't like how the story was on a black background. Overall I think this story was good, it kept me interested the whole way through and you did a wonderful job of writing it.
June 13th, 2011 at 06:20pm