Diablo:The Beginning of new Anguish - Comments

  • the power of justice

    the power of justice (100)

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    You have a couple of grammatical errors but nothing that can't be fixed with proof reading :)

    You have potential, keep up the good job <3
    June 17th, 2011 at 07:16am
  • DesmondTiny

    DesmondTiny (100)

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    Yes, I realize the beggining is rather shaky, it gets better though. At least I hope so :)
    June 16th, 2011 at 07:46pm
  • Bella Goes Away.

    Bella Goes Away. (860)

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    I love the Diablo games, and I kind of stumbled across this randomly. As far as the storyline goes, it seems pretty awesome. However, in the first chapter you begin almost every single paragraph with 'I', which makes it very tiresome to read.
    June 16th, 2011 at 10:59am
  • Shadow_Fang_16

    Shadow_Fang_16 (100)

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    i was always a fan of the games so this story is pretty much a dream come true! keep it up
    June 8th, 2011 at 11:18pm
  • DesmondTiny

    DesmondTiny (100)

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    Yea I gatta work on grammar more. Thanks for the comment and I'll definetly be posting more chapters.
    June 8th, 2011 at 02:03am
  • adela.

    adela. (100)

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    At first, I didn't know that it was based off of a game, but I could definitely tell as it went on.
    You have a fast-paced sort of writing style, and I think it's pretty easy to get into.
    I think this has a lot of potential, but you just have to watch out for small gramatical errors.
    (Just small things like their vs there or placement of commas) :]
    June 8th, 2011 at 01:43am
  • DesmondTiny

    DesmondTiny (100)

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    Let me know what you guys think. If I should invest in a new layout let me know as well. Also tell me what I need to improve for the chapters to come. :)
    June 7th, 2011 at 11:53pm