Motel 69 - Comments

I think I'm in love.

I'm always gonna remember this story <3 I love you girl (:

I love how the day I read chapter 20, Clueless came on TV XD So now I remember who Elton is :3

Chapter 21

In the third paragraph you said: "Three- thirty in the morning on June thirtieth.
For three-thirty, I don't think there should be a space between the hyphen and the word "thirty".

I love how, after the break in the story, you kept repeating "it was over" :3 I liked that.

In the second-to-last pargraph you said: "Let's get out here, huh?"
I think you meant to say "outta here" or "out of here".

I love Hotel California. I play it on Guitar Hero all the time xD

Chapter 22

In the first paragraph, second sentence, you said: is open twenty four hours a day, and rumor has it, used to have been a cat house.
I think twenty-four needs a hyphen in it, but I could be wrong.

In the fourth paragraph you said: His curls had remained as thick as she last saw,...
I think you meant to add "saw him", because the sentence feels kinda cut off I think :/

In the 18th paragraph you said: "-And you were completely fair to blow me off, I understand! But if just listened, I-"
I think you meant to add a "you" after "if" and before "just listened".

In the 19th paragraph you said: "Cooper, please. Just leave it alone," he was entering a touchy subject, and he knew it.
I think there should be a period after "alone" and "he" should be capitalized.

Yo, if I had been Marilyn, and he brought my father into that conversation, I would've decked him right then and there. Just saying xD

In the 3rd-to-last paragraph you said: She gladly took it, that half smile- half smirk he remembered so fondly.
Again, I don't think there should be a space between the hypen and the word "half". I could be wrong, but did you meant to say "she remembered so fondly" instead of he? O.o

On another note: JKDSLHFGSIUYGT'APKWJRHZDFGVERKHTBGT IT'S OVER! DX NO! I loved this story. -cries-

I think this story was absolutely beautiful and I plan on telling every living Mibbian soul I know to read it. Why? Because it's that damn good, that's why.

Aw, so... it's over. :'(
Great job with the ending, though. I'm glad it ended the way it did. But just out of curiousity, I'm also going to check out the alternate ending as well, so expect a comment from me on that then too. :)
But anyway, back to this first ending...
aw... so, yay! Cooper told Marilyn that he loved her! FINALLY!! lol. I'm glad he was finally able to tell her, even if three/four years had to pass before he could do so. She deserved to know, and needed to. :)
And so they're kind of starting over. I like this choice. Because that way they can just put all of the mistakes and miseries in the relationship behind them and fall in love the right way. :)
AMAZING, SPECTACULAR JOB WITH THIS WHOLE STORY. I enjoyed reading it all the way through, and I'm glad that I chose to read it. :) YOU'RE AN AMAZING WRITER, SO NEVER STOP!! :D
Again, I'm sad that it's over. But I absolutely enjoyed reading this and I'm glad to see a happy ending. :)
I'm off to check out the alternate ending now!
And I shall stay subscribed to this since I loved it so much. ♥
:)

:D

I love this story with all my heart.

SO YOU DID HAVE THEM REKINDLING THE OLD FIRE, EH? IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL AND HEART BREAKING YET TOUCHED MY HEART. This was ultimately my favorite piece, ever. Like ever. See how I bolded that word? Yeah, that's how much I loved it. BECAUSE IT'S SO SWEET AND THEY DID GET THEIR HAPPY ENDING.

Her father died? I mean, yeah, it's sad and it's heart wrenching how she harmed herself, y'know, but I feel like Cooper is going to get her through. HOW SAPPY AM I? I'M LITERALLY LEAKING WITH SAPPINESS.

I love how they're starting fresh and the fact that they're 'adults' now and they can think more rationally and make better choices than they did four years ago. I mean, it's just way better in my opinion since Cooper is becoming kinder.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HE WAS STILL THINKING ABOUT HER FOR FOUR YEARS.

I LOVED THIS SO MUCH. THERE SHOULD BE A SEQUEL ABOUT LIKE THEM MAKING GORGEOUS BABIES TOGETHER.

:D<3

I love the originality :) Thanks for the update. I'm sad that this is going to end.

Loved the update!
Aw, it had kind of a sad ending, though, with Cooper and Marilyn not talking or saying anything to one another. :(
They graduated, though. Congrats to them.
Then there's still the epilogue, and I really can't wait to see what you have in store for that! :D
I'm wondering where exactly you're going to pick up in that, though...
Great update! Can't wait for more! :D

What the hell? Why have I never read this shit before? And by shit I mean absolutely fantastic piece of work. This is seriously amazing and I just don't understand why I've never stumbled across it before. I'm in absolute love. Usually I can't read more than one chapter of a story at a time, but I read up until Cooper and Marilyn were in the coffee shop. I don't know what chapter that was. But really, the summary, title, layout, the actual content - everything is perfect. <3

OHMYGOD.

DESPITE HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ALL HAPPY SINCE THEY'RE GRADUATING, IT'S SO SAD, Y'KNOW? SINCE COOPER IS LEAVING HER LIFE. AND MARILYN IS GOING TO A LOCAL UNIVERSITY. IT'S LIKE A SCENE STRAIGHT OUT OF A MOVIE. DO YOU KNOW HO SAD IT IS? SADDER THAN THE NOTEBOOK WHICH IS ACTUALLY POSSIBLE.

I still can't believe you're so close to ending this. I mean, I still demand a sequel but y'know. So Cooper doesn't kill Marilyn. But what about the little poem you had going on there in the summary? THAT'S SO MISLEADING, Y'KNOW? THE BLOOD STAINING THE WALLS AND THE "NEVER GOT A CHANCE TO SEE HOW BEAUTIFUL HER COULD REALLY BE" THING.

WTF

SO MISLEADING.

But really, it's so...sad. More than sad, actually. I almost cried. Seriously. I can't believe this is so close to ending. Maybe Cooper will stalk Marilyn and coincidentally have all the same classes with her. Or maybe it'll be like a 10 ears later kinda thing and then Marilyn and Cooper meet and then they rekindle that little fire. You know? ;D

I still think that their babies would be gorgeous. WILL SHE GET PREGGERS? WHO KNOWS. OH WAIT YOU DO.

Update soon :D<3

The title of this chapter is from "Adam's Song" by Blink 182, am I correct? :3 I love that song.

Fiesty Cooper ;D It's kinda hot. O.O; Just saying.

I loved this chapter ^-^ Wonderful as always.

:D Clueless is one of my favorite movies :D I think I know who you're talking about, but I don't remember O.o

I just found this story last night, and I absolutely love it! :D

Marilyn is my gurl.

WHAT. YOU TRYIN' TO STEAL HER AWAY? HAHA TOO BAD. YOU CAN JUST LIKE...GO AWAY, COOPER. BECAUSE MARILYN HAD A PERFECTLY GOOD REASON TO STAND HIM UP.

Marilyn is witty, I'll give her that. But everyone knew that since the first fucking chapter so it isn't y'know new :l

But I still love this story so much <3

AND WITH AN AUDIENCE TOO? OH SNAP. MARILYN - 1 COOPER - 0 OF COURSE MARILYN IS GOING TO JUST SAY THAT HE'S A DIRTY KLEENEX TO HER. DAYUM.

He's going to kill himself now that the love of his life basically said he's dead to her.

UPDATE SOON C:

:o

Ohh... so you know what I think I just realized I?
Cooper didn't hurt those other girls. I mean, physically. He was just a player and dumped them all! You had me thinking he was more of a psycho then that! But he's not, right? lol.
Maybe it's just your way of writing... that I would expect it to be something weird like that. ;P I mean that as a compliment, though. lol.
Aw, so Marilyn finally got back at him. Talk about a heavier burn.
... I wonder what Cooper was going to tell her, though? And I wonder if he'll ever tell her now? :o
Great update! Can't wait for more! :D

In the third paragraph (well, technically, it IS the entire third paragraph, but still x]) you said:
"Oh, he had to run to the bank. He said he wouldn't take too long," Danielle smiled.
and in the fifth paragraph you said: "You're going to be leaving me soon, Mare," he had smiled bitterly.
I could be wrong, but I feel that should be a period instead of a comma. I'm not entirely sure though. It just seems weird to me O.o

In the seventh paragraph you said: "I was thinking Florida. It's nice down there, you know? And if you came to visit, I know you'd have blast."
You forgot to add an "a" in there - I know you'd have a blast.

In the eighth paragraph you said: She sighed. Ray spoke again, "Are you sure you'll be fine for a while on your on?"
I think you meant that last word to be "own", not "on".

I thought it was a good chapter. ^-^

Loved the update! :)
Hm... so Marilyn will be on her own soon. And she didn't meet Cooper... hm... I was thinking she was going to... but I honestly don't blame her. Give him a taste of his own medicine. And plus, she had no idea of knowing what he would want or say to her; he could just say something mean again for all she knew. :/
Aw, and I know you put a lot of work into this darlin'. :) So I really hope no one steals your idea. If I see that someone does, I will go and report them. Fair deal? :D
And... I was the sixty-ninth commenter? Really? Awesome! I didn't even plan that! Or think about it to go check after I posted it! But I'm glad you met your goal. :D
Anyway, great update! Can't wait for more! :D

SO. I WAS WRONG. BECAUSE I HAVE A TWISTED MIND LIKE THAT. BE JEALOUS. WHAT.

I mean, I don't feel all too sorry for Cooper since he was being a total dickface towards her but y'know, it's still a bit sad.

AND DANIELLE. She really seems like the ideal mom. Like, no joke. She gives Marilyn space and y'know, does all those mommy things that mommy's usually do. Well, step mommies at least :l

I wonder what's going to happen between the two. WILL THE GET BACK TOGETHER? YES?

Yes. No?

WELL THEN, UPDATE SOON (:

:O Where was I during the first 18 chapters,sleeping?
I cant believe I missed this story! Its so...interesting! Ugh! I love the little poems or words, you put in the end of some chapters, or the poems Cooper gives Marilyn ^.^