Lean Upon Me - Comments

I would like to congratulate you for this, I was absolutely terrified reading this. By using 'you' instead of I, he or she, you really make the reader feel as if they are the one on the ski lift. I thought that was a very clever and powerful thing to do.

The banner/image chosen matches the content extremely well and the words you've used to describe the setting are so simple yet so effective. To me, it felt as if the characters were stuck in the lift, or that they were on a lift that just kept going and going. Both of these are very clever images to include, as it gives an air of mystery to the piece.

You are a really good writer, I must say. The layout was great---settle and nothing that stood out. I really like your diction and use of second person; that was unique and different from most drabbles entered in my contest. I really liked how it was settle, and then another cable car comes, and then it's settle again. The last line was very thoughtful and made me think. Good job! (:

I really loved this. The imagery is beautiful and it sent a chill down my spin in quite a few places. It was ominous and scary in such a brilliant way that you couldn't help but be glad you're safe and sound in your home instead of up there. Second person is something that I just love, and you pulled it of spectacularly.

The flow was nice, it didn't have a point where I got lost in the words and had to re-read something so I could find myself again. "Nothing but the breathing of him next to you. He takes your hand, tells you it's going to be alright. But you know it's not true." My favorite line, for the fact that it sent the biggest chill down my spine with the last six words. Just an amazing line all on its own.

The layout was just beautiful, the picture went so well with the simple layout and it just all flowed together well.

Great job, really. Keep it up, please. :)

your imagery is perfect. there are so many emotions that charge out of this dribble, and i could not even begin to describe. it's just so… i don't know how to word this. it just flows so well, and it's perfect. and i feel it all, but at the same time i feel nothing. especially after reading that last line!

I love this piece, I think you've matched it well to the image, and drawn a great story from it.
I loved how there was two metaphors, one for love and one for life linked into the lift.
It's a wonderful piece.
Well done.

I really love how this story is in second person, I have never seen that on Mibba before :)

Contest:

The layout is perfect. Perfect for the picture, perfect the story, perfect for me.

This actually reminds me of a movie I've seen. Anyways, I absolutely love it. I was emotionally attached while I was reading and your descriptions are incredible. My heart was pounding, especially when it said "the skipping of your heartbeat".
Amazing job. (}: