Hey just wanted to thank you for entering my contest :)
And now for the critique (mostly written as I read but after thoughts are mixed in too):
intro- I really liked the quote on the summary page. It ties in the picture quote very nicely while at the same time being your own words.
1/2- really good imagery at the beginning. It was easy to picture the setting, the people and the atmosphere of the party. And not that it matters but I found the guy's name freaky, just cause I'm starting up a new co-write and my character's name for it is Kendall also- only without the extra "l" at the end x) A hockey player who can sing and is from MN. Stole my heart easy. Camille seems like the cautious type but also a rebel when she wants to be. Like she'll go out on a limb for someone but only if that person is enough of a mystery to her. I like the way your characters seem real. The ending of this chapter was really cute too :D ----Correction: "Kendall asked various questions about the building, about the other people around them, and Camille tried her best *to* give him the lowdown on each of the other residents in attendance
2/2- sorry I don't have much to say about this chapter. I liked the fact that you told it in Kendall's point of view though. His honestness is so cute too :) ----Correction: none
Overall, I have to say this is a very good piece of writing and a stong entry. Good luck!!!
And now for the critique (mostly written as I read but after thoughts are mixed in too):
intro- I really liked the quote on the summary page. It ties in the picture quote very nicely while at the same time being your own words.
1/2- really good imagery at the beginning. It was easy to picture the setting, the people and the atmosphere of the party. And not that it matters but I found the guy's name freaky, just cause I'm starting up a new co-write and my character's name for it is Kendall also- only without the extra "l" at the end x) A hockey player who can sing and is from MN. Stole my heart easy. Camille seems like the cautious type but also a rebel when she wants to be. Like she'll go out on a limb for someone but only if that person is enough of a mystery to her. I like the way your characters seem real. The ending of this chapter was really cute too :D
----Correction: "Kendall asked various questions about the building, about the other people around them, and Camille tried her best *to* give him the lowdown on each of the other residents in attendance
2/2- sorry I don't have much to say about this chapter. I liked the fact that you told it in Kendall's point of view though. His honestness is so cute too :)
----Correction: none
Overall, I have to say this is a very good piece of writing and a stong entry. Good luck!!!