Camille - Comments

Yay an update! I want more :D

This is great, keep updating :D

Haha this story is adorable. Keep it up<3
x

So I know this is on a break thing right now but I just wanted to say that I think this story is really awesome. Thanks for writing it :)

Love the new update ;) I think Skylar is super adorable!!!!!! I love him :D

Ahhhhhh you need to update more!

I like :D

I'd have to say I'm in love with this story :D Please update really soon!

Good, great, excellent update! Minor details I noticed:

*Omit slightly in the sentence, " I shoved him slightly. It reads weird.
*Loved Henry bio. In broken English (because I can't think of any other way to say this), "It aches my heart." :)

the prologue sets up the rest of the story quite well. That's all I put in the time to read this go-round, but I'll certainly subscribe and continue reading.

Had a lot of catching up to do, so don't think I've given up on you.

*Loved Camille's absentee-of-the-mind moment in chapter 3 [?], when she realized she could have rescheduled = :)
*“Keep it. You can start a collection.” I really liked this line. :)

You've definitely outdone yourself this time. :D

I like it so far....can't wait til you update again.....soon I hope

Wow, ignore my last comment/message. That was just really bad (or really amazing) timing. And character page! Darn it! Guess I'm as slow as Camille ;P Btw, cute chapter!! Skylar just gets awesomer and awesomer. While Henry...stays more or less the same. Keep updating =D

I think I'm just going to annoy you with comments every time you update =) I really liked the chapter! Once again, very funny and sarcastic (nice secret ninja mission to spy on the nurses ;) ). I hope to see more of the err...that guy at the retirement home (I hope you tell us his name soon...I hate to refer him to 'that guy' for much longer).

I really enjoyed the newest chapter!! I'm getting to like Camille a little more each chapter with her unique sense of humor and sarcasm. And of course, the forever-holding-his-peace Henry makes me giggle. I'm hoping to see more of him as well as the adorable, Disney-prince-like guy ;)

Great update, all in all, but I noticed you started changing tenses towards the end. You went from "he was late" to "it is great that...". Other than that, everything was good. :)

The font bothers me a bit, but I can easily get over it. I noticed sometimes things that should be capatalized are lower cased, but whatever. I love Camille's character, I can see her being a really sweet girl one she gets out of the rebel without a cause. Oh, I also like the attention she paid to her nails in the prolouge.

Something you might wanna work on:

*"I might have looked out of place, wearing denim shorts and a spider-mean shirt, in a place that looked like it came out of some sort of Oprah episode but it’s not like I cared." - This is a contradiction. Camille noticed that, so she should care. I'd omit "...but it’s not like I cared."

Something I loved:
*"I hated badges; males who needed a better reason to stare at girl’s chests invented them. = Interesting. You analyze something new everyday. ;)

Your story looks amazing so far!! (albeit there's just 2 chapters, but I got a good feeling)

Same as Preston, I really appreciate a plotline that is reasonable, and not like "Oh look, a hot guy who fell for me, but I don't like him, but ooh, look, I think I have feelings for him now, oh no what do I do...!!" (which makes me want to shoot myself). Camille is also a captivating character with a sweet personality! I hope you keep that rebellious attitude throughout the story ;)

Awesome work so far! Update fast =)

I don't read original fiction all too often, but this is amazing. Some of my favorite things were:

*the "my chair" thought = GENIUS!
*your characters being believable, relate-able.
*the plot line is REAL!

I'm subscribing. :)