Bring Me to Life - Comments

@ tabula rasa.
Thank you- I'm glad you enjoyed the story!

I think you did a great job describing the mutual attraction between Jasper and Delilah. You're definitely a talented writer! However, I did find that the changes in perspective (Moving briefly to those downstairs and then later to Jasper's point of view) made the story feel a bit disjointed. I feel that the best way to fix the issue would just be to write the whole thing from a third person point of view, which I find is easier to switch more smoothly to different character perspectives.

Anyway, I enjoyed reading!

@ celestial_royalty
I'm glad that you liked my comment. I try to give some really good feedback if I liked the story.

@ Loving Wolf Girl
Thanks so much for your comment, it means so much! Loved what you had to say <3

I liked it. Even though I am a huge Alice and Jasper fan, this is one of the few stories that I actually liked. In this story, it was like they were siblings and Delilah was his love interest. You kept the story interesting and gave enough details that you could easily see what was happening. I love how you started out with her fantasying about Jasper in that shirt. And I love the last comment about Edward. Great job.

Wow you are a very good writer. You are way better than me lol. Keep writing more stories!

Wow thanks for telling me to check this out. Really good and about time someone put Bella and Edward to shame.

I'm glad you asked me to check this out, it is very good, well written and shows some raw talent, keep it up babydoll!

okay, so I skipped the sex scene (I'm 15, I shouldn't read that) but you are very good at using adjectives, and you have good grammar so XD cuppycakes for you! I kinda feel bad for Jasper, but he got laid, so...not so much.