Night - Comments

Contest Judging
First of all, thanks so much for joining this contest. :)

Layout
I like the photo you've chosen, and the simple black layout. Not a fan of the font, but that's only because I'm ridiculous when it comes to those things. :)

Summary.
Cute, enough to leave me wondering.

Content
I don't have much to say other than I really enjoyed it. There are obviously improvements that can be done. It's a bit choppy, and you could transition a better flow. But it's a beautiful, elegant piece and I really like that about it. I like that you don't really give us a reason why they can't be together, just that they can't. Very nicely done.

The dark is kind, gentle, like your lithe fingers pushing through my hair.

We don’t speak because we don’t need words, they’re too clumsy and loud and they could break this moment, still perfect in the dark.

There’s everything I wanted, gone with the night.

No more you and me. Just you. Just me.

All those lines made my heart flutter then break. You have an amazing way of writing I wish I had :)

Although, I say it many times, I'm not a big fan of the word "you" it makes me feel like I'm with the character and if it's a girl...it's awkward for me to read it. It would have been better if you used him instead of you. but the description and words made this beautiful despite<3

We don’t speak because we don’t need words, they’re too clumsy and loud and they could break this moment, still perfect in the dark. We only need hands and eyes and each other, to touch and see and love. That was one of my favorite parts of this. The whole thing was beautiful, and that's not just me exaggerating because I have nothing to say. This is the kind of stuff I can never seem to find on Mibba and I loved it. It's simple and lovely, and so light. I sort of got confused at the end though, I can't figure out if someone died...or they aren't together, or what. Other than that, simply amazing, for lack of a better adjective.

I was actually looking at this today and thought, Wow, this looks mighty pretty! You have this thing for gorgeous/simple layouts and I'm beyond jealous of that <3 Anyways, I'm... absolutely speechless right now. How do you write this gorgeous little gems? It seems that you're not even trying; it's, like, effortless almost. While I was reading this, I could imagine the two people in the meadow - God, that's so Twilight, but when I think of lavender, I think of meadows :3 - and in the background, Claire De Lune is playing. Yeah, I know, another Twilight reference, but seriously, it's just so beautiful, this little drabble. It's so sweet that I found myself awwing like a mad dog at every word. It's soooooo pretty <3 I hope that I'll find a love like that one day :D Great job! <3

This reminds me of the last day I spent with my boyfriend before I pissed off his mom,
and now I can't see him anymore...
But nevertheless, this is a beautiful story!

It's described amazingly. And I've noticed that it's hard to write about real relationships when you haven't experienced all the emotions yourself.
So, if you have experienced such a true love, then I'm really happy for you.
True love is the most undescribably fantastic thing in existence.
And if not, then you're just extra talented.

Keep writing; you could do great things!

This is very artfully written. Your attention to emotion is terrific! I can feel right along with the characters and you don't even have to describe them for me to get the images of what's happening in my head.

"We don’t speak because we don’t need words, they’re too clumsy and loud and they could break this moment, still perfect in the dark." Is a perfect look at the way love can work within us, cause us to understand each other in a way that is almost super-human."I will never get to see you again. I will never kiss your lips again, propose to you, have kids with you, get a dog and name it Sully with you." This is so heartbreaking and emotional not just because they will never see each other again, but because this is exactly what every human wants out of love, and it's slipping through their fingers.

Marvelous, marvelous job!

This story isn't about a contradicting couple or a one night stand, unlike many stories. This story is about the end of something rare, true love. You never explained what they look like or what their gender is, because it doesn't matter. Knowing the details of their relationship is irrelevant to the problem they face now.

We don’t speak because we don’t need words, they’re too clumsy and loud and they could break this moment, still perfect in the dark. This line is wonderful. It is a perfect explanation of words and how they cannot truly capture how one feels.

I really admire that you didn't tell the reader too much. You only told the reader what they needed to know. At the end I was wondering why they couldn't be together. If they would stay up basking in each others presence and wish the sun gone for a while longer then why can't they be together? Why is it the end?

Wonderful story!

Jack and jill went up the hill,
to smoke some marajuana,
jack got high,
pulled down his fly,
and asked jill if she wanna.
jill said yes,
pulled up her dress,
and had a little fun,
but stupid jill,
forgot the pill,
and now they have a son

I watch So You Think You Can Dance, so I knew exactly what you were talking about, Anyways...Jasmine, you never fail to disappoint. Ever. It was beautiful, of course. Beautiful and heartbreaking. But we wouldn't expect anything less from you, now would we?