I'll start off with the layout. As much as I want to like it, I couldn't help but sigh as soon as it popped up. It's not terrible. Oh no. I've seen layouts that have neon green font that burned into my retina. Yours isn't hard to read at all. But it isn't exactly beautiful. The background is plain, the picture is 'eh', and the font itself isn't very pretty. I feel like you could've given it more. Stories are like babies to a writer. You don't want to dress your baby in clothes other babies will tease them on. You want your baby to dress fashionably. You want your baby to be admired.
But moving away from that topic, and onto your story, the summary is short and to the point, and from what I read I didn't hold much hope for the actual content. And when I did read the content I found myself… a bit disappointed. The whole idea of, 'oh your my best friend but I secretly like you' has been used in TV shows, movies, dramas, stories, etc. It's all over the place. We've all heard it before and to be honest, a few too many times. I feel like it lacked… creativity.
Your characters have attitude and I really like that. I feel like you could've used that attitude to formulate a whole other scene instead of going straight to, "I secretly like you but you're my best friend let's kiss". If you had added a little bit of a twist this could've actually been a mindblowing story.
Your grammar on the other hand is quite good. I went over your sentences and found maybe one or two tiny little mistakes here and there but nothing horribly obvious. You do have a talent for writing. You have it in you for sure. You just need to take it up a notch.
But moving away from that topic, and onto your story, the summary is short and to the point, and from what I read I didn't hold much hope for the actual content. And when I did read the content I found myself… a bit disappointed. The whole idea of, 'oh your my best friend but I secretly like you' has been used in TV shows, movies, dramas, stories, etc. It's all over the place. We've all heard it before and to be honest, a few too many times. I feel like it lacked… creativity.
Your characters have attitude and I really like that. I feel like you could've used that attitude to formulate a whole other scene instead of going straight to, "I secretly like you but you're my best friend let's kiss". If you had added a little bit of a twist this could've actually been a mindblowing story.
Your grammar on the other hand is quite good. I went over your sentences and found maybe one or two tiny little mistakes here and there but nothing horribly obvious. You do have a talent for writing. You have it in you for sure. You just need to take it up a notch.