Feather - Comments

Hello, I'm here to review your story. (:

I really like the simplicity of your layout. The banner is really elegant and I like how it contrasts with the sidebar.

I like how in the first chapter you wrote that she wants to get a tattoo at 18 and not like 15 or something because then it seems like...normal? I guess that would be the word. Because if she would get it when she was younger, I would've thought she was a tough ass or something. Being stereotypical, I know xD I'm curious to what her tattoo will be but I'm guessing its a feather because of the title...Feather :l

In chapter two, I love how you said brown nail polish and not one that is a bit more common. I love how you described it in the first sentence; There was something homey and relaxed about it. I really like that line.

I really like Conner's character even though I barely know anything about it. he seems like one of those friends that would recklessly tease you but yet still be an awesome friend. Like in Chapter Four,. he caved in and let Kacey buy something white. I love Conner so much :D

I have to agree with Elisabeth Love about the whole mother ordeal going on in Chapter Five I don't like how they're controlling her to wear white and only that. I mean, they should let her spread her horizons, don't you think?

The parents are realy annoying me; so what if she doesn't want to wear white? How old is she? 18, right? I don' like how controlling they are when it comes to what color she should wear and stuff. It's kind of freaky.

She was still made at me.

I think you mean mad (:

I really love how Conner is sticking by her and everything; it shows true loyalty and all that good stuff. I love how he calls her "doll' and gives her little pet names because to me, that's adorable and it shows that they're really close.

I laughed when Ray started freaking out about Conner kicking her ass. But I'm a bit confused, is the main character's name Kacey or Kaylie? Because that's kinda confusing me there :l

Overall, you have a beautiful piece here and you have to tell me when you update becasue I'm very excited for the next chapter! <3

Yay for video games! I must say Ray's reaction to losing was quite funny. Flailing comically is usually what I end up doing while playing them as well. Like when I played Black Ops and was surrounded by zombies. Didn't end well for me, if the game was a movie my character would probably be shown getting pulled apart. But, I will not be beaten again! It's good that she has something to take her mind off of dinner. Her parents take there littl routine a bit far sometimes.

What a sheltered character!
in the last few chapters there were a few mistakes, read it carefully and I'm sure you will see them.
I really like the main character and I'm subbing :)

The layout was nice and I liked the tatoo the person is wearing in the layout.The story was nice and relateable.

WHOA! Just because your lil girl doesn't like brown you're gonna flip?? Sigh. Anyways, it's really good so far! It's a bit cliche, you know good girl gone bad, but not OVERLY cliche that makes me want to barf.

You've got a great beginning for a marvelous story right here. I think that the characters are developing well, and evenly throughout the chapters. There are a few mistakes here and there every once in a while but nothing we can't fix!

Great job :) keep writing this!

This is quite well written, but I think you should get a bit more creative. It's feeling a bit bland at the moment, if I'm going to be completely honest. And the only reason I say that, is because I'm sure you have some crazy ideas that you're dying to let out. And I think you should!

Chapter Five
White may look nice on her but I don't see the big deal her mother is making. She really shouldn't make a big deal out of Kacey choosing ot color her nails something other than brown. Even worse, it's sad that she reacted that way. Kacey is breaking out of her comfort zone and doing something new. Something that's different, somethings truly hers. Her mother should be accepting of that. Happy even.

Chapter Six
Alright her parents are really getting on my nerves now. Quite badly actually. What right do they have to be upset with her? She is not tethered to one specific color and they don't have the right to assume that. This is her life and she should be able to make changes, for the better, and not get yelled at for that. Just because they may be set in one constant cycle doesn't mean she has to. Being curious over a changed style is one thing but getting this upset over it is nothing but immaturity on their part. I'm afraid I have no respect for the people now, they need to pull their heads out of their butt's and accept that she is changing.

This was very well written, humorous at times, and I'm looking forward to the next update. (:

I must say first off that I love the little poem in your summary. Wonerful and the layut and banner are perfecto. But am I really that surprised? I've read your other storeis and they're amamzing so I know immediately that this one will be as well. I wasn't in the best of moods when I got on Mibba so the brightness of this makes me happy.

Chapter One
It's nice that she can have something that's her's and her's alone. Is this story going to be mainly imagery and very little dialogue? If it is than I may have just fallen even more in love with although I'm only on chapter one. Amazing and it's sweet that you are wwriting it for your movement. That reminds me, I have to get started on mine soon. The ideas are just popping in my head as I type.

Chapter Two
Can you really get brown nail polish at Wal-Mart? I've never given nail polish much thought nor have I ever worn it. The millions of colors just seem to bright and flashy for my taste. The one's I've seen anyway. She has a reputation for wearing white shirts and brown nail polish, eh? My reputation at school was the girl who didn't have a style or care about it. Truth is, I would love to have a style, clothing and appearance wise, I just don't want to blend in with everyone else. I must say I love the reaction her parents gave her. It must have been a shock to them to see her without brown.

Chapter Three
Poor conner. It's sad that he has to hide his sexuality. Personally I don't think anyone has the right to tell you who to love but these days I guess you never know. There's way too much hate in this world. It is sweet however that he was able to confide this secret with Kacey. Even sweeter that she so willingly accepts it and doesn't even care awhat others reactions would be. It's a sign of a true friend. This story is so happy at this point and it sounds like it will continue. That is awesome.

Chaper Four
Conner amuses me even more now. He actually sounds like my cousin Brad who happens to criticize everything I war whenever he is around. It must be the awesome-gay-friend-syndrome or something. I think Kacey should have bought the dress. Stunned her parents and everyone else by stepping out of her confort zone. It may be uncomfortable at first but the feeling would go away and be replaced with happiness. Great story so far! I really like it. I don't know how long until it's finished or anything so I'm going to subscribe. This story makes me happy. =)

"It all started with a tattoo." <------ Captured my attention instantly.
I love her happiness in finally finding something that is hers. An idea that's all her own.
I like the internal conflict in chapter two. She's unsure if she can really make her own decisions, and I think we've all been there before.
The introduction to Connor is done very well.
This story has really grabbed my interest. I'm subscribing.
=)

I can relate to the main character. I feel my life has been pretty standard so far and I'm dying to finally do something of my own. I think going your whole life wearing only white shirts and having brown nails is extremely pitiful and I'm glad she's breaking from her shell. The layout is of course amazing and different :)

First of all I love the layout and the picture you have used is perfectly beautiful.

Chapter One
Amazingly written, very easy to relate to which is always good as it sparks interest in the reader, I was only going to read one chapter but now I want to know more, What does this tattoo mean to her? Why does she feel the need to hide it? Will she pick up the courage?

Chapter Two
I love the name of the high school.
This story is getting me more intrigued by the second, why doesn't she make any of her own decisions?
I love it, a young girl rebelling, excellent!

Chapter Three
Connor is a pretty name
When we were sixteen, he had became my boyfriend. should be => When we were sixteen, he became my boyfriend.
Gay? What a nice twist.

All in all, I love it!
A young girl rebelling, perfect.

Keep up the good work, you have yourself a subscriber :D

xxx

Your layout is.... Gorgeous! I was surprised that you haven't got more comments?! Its really good so far. I enjoyed this very much. Please continue? :)

hey :) I really love your layout! It's easy to read and not cluttered, and the picture suits the story well. I like how the story is also really relatable- everybody knows what this feels like, to go out and start making your own decisions as you grow up. I think this is a really cool idea- the only question I have is how the story is going to progress once she actually gets the tattoo. I guess I'll find out :D

This is so beautiful, beautiful, lovely. I just had to. <3

So, she is getting a tattoo to symbolize and begin her freedom train? I like that. ^_^ The layout is gorgeous, dearest! You have this story rockin' already <3