Oh, Sweet Rhythm - Comments

First off, I’m finding Leon pretty lovable already.

Second, your writing style is fantastic. The detail is lovely and everything that happens in the story is making perfect sense in my head.

“ He's a cool dude, but if you dare interrupt his concentration, you'll be in deep shit.” I enjoyed this sentence lol. It’s so accurate to how some of my teachers are.

Btw, the flash back is adorable. It made me smile and things of that nature. So well done. Usually with cute flashbacks like that I’m like, “Laaaaame.” But you did well, I actually liked it. You probably deserve a prize, but I don’t have one. Sooooorrry.

"You want me to baby sit Serena?"
I love how he just jumps to that. I also love that he was wrong. I was worried you were going to be predictable and have his assumption be right. But you surprised me and so once again, well done :)

So, basically, although I’ve only read the first chapter, I’m impressed and subscribing.
Fo’ real.

Keep it up, and UPDATE THIS STORY OR I’LL FIND YOU AND BEAT YOU DOWN. In a supportive way of course.

(Loool you’re going to read my story and be like, “Why is everyone so bitchy?” Because all your characters are so nice and happy.)

This is so cute. I love it. Why? Because there's an Asian and I have a thing for Asians. jk jk. lol

That's part of why.

First of all, I love the layout, it was so cute and just...perfect for the story. It's really different from others I've seen which is great. You make good layouts.

Also, the summary was great.

I like how you described how Leon looked. It makes me picture the story better in my head. I liked that he has a best friend who likes to put his arms around him. I find that pretty normal when you're in high school. I think it's cute.

Anyway, I'm subscribing.

ok its my drabble Leaving Happy
Sorry I wasted your space/

I messed up its for my drabble
[url=http://stories.mibba.com/read/412169/Leaving Happy/]Leaving Happy[/url]

The description on chapter 7 was good.
Wow I didn't know that Panda's had kids at eight years.
Ok I will swamp for [url=http://stories.mibba.com/read/412169/Leaving Happy/]this[/url]

I only read chapter one and I have to say I thought the whole thing was really..juvenile? Like...it was something you could have seen on a movie. The guy not sitting with her friend because this other person asked her to sit with them especially. But whatever, haha. I guess everything needs a cliche once in a while.But the whole gay thing, that is what makes it different. I'm sorta wondering if his friend likes him or something.

You have very good description here, especially describing Leon's looks. :D That was nice.

She has platinum blond hair that hangs down her back which was beautifully curled today. Sentence doesn't flow well at all. Try She has platinum blond hair, which is beautifully curled today. You changed tenses there and that's not good in a story.

The layout is different, I like the story idea and where I Can imagine where this is going.
I love the name's you have picked out, I wish I had good grammar like you. You are good with description and imagery. Update.

Wow. I really like this story.

It's definately different than anything I've read and I like how it's from a guys perspective. =P

Your grammar and spelling are amazing, and the detail you put into the story makes me feel as if I'm in the story. My favorite part was when you were describing the new girl. She has me so intrigued, and I want to know more about her already!

Pretty good I'm enjoying the first chaptyer. It is really well written and I cannot wait to read more. I can't wait to see how this turns out.

This is just AMAZING!! I love it, keep up the good work!

This was interesting and cute, the layout is pretty, I especially like the first banner on the summary page, and the girl's name. Rhythm is a really creative name. I think this was nicely written, your transitions are really good, and that you should continue what you're doing (:

I'm not usually a fan of these teenage romance stories, but this one was good! The layout was very nice; it really added to the overall affect of the story. It was well written, and alittle surprising, to be honest. I figured he was going to develop feelings for his best friend. I liked it!

Well done, keep writing!

Okay so I actually read it yay! :D I love you sweet heart this is my favorite one of your stories. And I have to say those graphics are amazing! Where in the world did you get them ;] Kidding! I am such an amazing artist. Okay done being egotistical. But really you are an amazing writer and I love this story and you to pieces.

To start, I really like the layout. It's simple and nice.

This story is very good. I loved the memory in the first chapter. It was absolutely adorable. The main character really seems like a sweetie. I like his character very much. (:
You are very good with description, but there's not too much of it. It makes it very readable and enjoyable to read.
I'd like to continue reading this story so I'll subscribe.

I really like how you've taken time to expand your ideas and you explain your thoughts so well. You are really good at description and your character development is nicely done.

I really like how you gave the main character such an ordinary name. I was tired of hearing of characters with elaborate names and mary sue personalities. You're characters are dimensional in a good way.

The layout was nice too. Though it did not seem an obvious carnival background, it still reminded me of it and somehow, the pattern reminds me of the name Christopher. (maybe it's because my uncle Chris has a jumper like that >.<)

I love Josette and Christopher memory part. It was so cute! You have a real talent for making all the characters come to life. I could see it all as a movie in my head as I read it. With all the words flowing correctly. But there was only a few, just a few little easy to fix spelling mistakes. And sadly I have to also admit that the layout was a little distracting, like the others said but I kept reading anyways.

Your description was also spot on magnificent! The title is very cute, though I'm wondering where oh where is 'Rhythm'? Though I have a feeling I already know where this will head but I shall keep read. Update soon. :)

You have a talent for description. The first chapter flowed well from one event to another; each character was given his or her own little quirks or memories that make them stand out a bit even before we get to know them better later on. I definitely felt bad for the main character when he enters the school, and he is reminded why he's not popular. High school can be tough, especially in the first two years. Almost anyone could connect with this--we've all been seen as outsiders for one thing or another. This creates sympathy for him, and it makes me like him.

I have to admit, though, that the layout is a bit of an eye opener. It's different from what I have seen before. That doesn't make it bad, but the different parts of it all mashed together proved to be a bit distracting while I was reading.

Ah, I like your idea here. Especially how you have it in his point of view--that's new to me. I've never read a romance in the guy's perspective. The way he is so different is really cute. I'll never understand why people have problems with fantasy...

Anyway, the details! Whoa, you have that depicted amazingly! I swear, I could totally see how everything happened; I could smell the teacher's new-car smell and feel his love for his best buddy.[friend love, not gay. XD]

With all of that said, I felt you rushed it a little at the ending. =\ Maybe that's just me, though.
I saw a few spelling/grammar mistakes here and there, but, otherwise, you have this in perfect motion. =D I look forward to reading more! <3

UPDATE SOON!! <3

I think this story has started well and was really interesting to read :)
I'll be looking on your profile for updates on this!

BUT (yes there is a but)
I think you should change the layout, it doesn't really go with the theme of the story so far and I got the impression that the narrator was a girl :)

Good work! oxox