Edge of Heaven - Comments

Sorry, this is so overdue.
Anyway, love the layout. I really like the dialogue between the characters. They're all so obviously at ease with each other. The fact that they steal for fun makes me really nervous even though it's a story lol...but I like the way you have tehm do it. It makes the whole story a little more carefree. Love the story :)

This story is written with so much character, it's amazing. I mean, they shoplift, have sex, and get drunk for fun, and they talk about it all the time. It gives the story such a realistic edge. To add to it the characters clearly talk with an accent, and their attitudes are strongly portrayed in their thoughts, movements and what the say. This is great because instead of giving me a paragraph spelling out exactly what each dude is like you're first of all showing be and second of all letting me figure it out.

The chemistry between the four 'mates' is fantastic. It's great that they're all so comfortable around each other. It's it's also not over done, and it makes the story even more realistic.

I think you have a bit of a spacing issue in chapter one, but aside from that this story is great from the layout to the words.

So, I like your layout. It's plain and simple but the banner and the background matches each other perfectly and I also like your summary. It's vague but it gets to the point and it leaves the reader wondering and wanting more. (:

I like the informal way how the guys speak to each other, their dialogue is natural and very laid-back. Haha, I like the fact that they shoplift for fun, it shows clearly how they're reckless, without you pointing it out and that they have a sort of "I-don't-give-a-shit" attitude. I like your choice of words, you don't use flowery language, but your wording makes your sentences flow with ease and clarity.

This has potential, keep up the good work <3