February 27th, 2010 at 06:49pm
Lights Will Guide You Home - Comments
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The italics [not that it matters, take them as you will] are actually conversations that happen following the preceding unitalicized parts.February 23rd, 2008 at 08:15am
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That was amazing.
So well written.
Good job, =]
XFebruary 22nd, 2008 at 01:32pm -
I love it; just incredible! >.<February 20th, 2008 at 01:33am
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Brendon, make him shut up.
Brendon, make him go away.
Those two lines are simply perfect. I don't even know why I love them so much, but they just made my day. Also perfect is the way you made something relatively horrible bring out something beautiful. There's beauty in the breakdown, and you really made that clear.February 20th, 2008 at 12:13am -
Lights Will Guide You Home:
It was quite short in my opinion but it didn't hide the fact that it was beautiful in its own sense. I don't read that many Rydens and I haven't read much of your stuff to be completely honest and I'm not quite accustomed to your writing style yet but this appealed to me.
It was sad how Ryan depended on Brendon to help him walk through the pain like he was literally the crutch to help him up.
The dialogue within his head [The one in italics] confused me a bit because I couldn't tell who he was speaking to but I presumed that it was himself, other people then afterwards Brendon. Like flashbacks [which they probably are] but the repetition of shut up's and his unhidden urge to cover up and mask what happened is apparent ever so vividly.
I loved the "Brendon, make him go away." as it displayed how Ryan depended on him [once again] to shield and protect him from words and unneeded question.
The sense in where Ryan was crying for help in his words and looks flowed so beautifully. He questioned what's wrong with him when he pretty much [to my interpretation] knew what the matter was.
And the end is :cheese:
Brendon?
Yeah?
I love you.
So simple, so pretty in their captivating artless ways.
A lovely piece if I may say.February 19th, 2008 at 07:55am -
Read your story randomly.
I love the dialogue in italics, it makes the story come to life, I think. I love your choice of song, I really love it.
Maybe you think I'm too young to read this or something but I don't know, I thought this story was really good. I think someone of any age can read something like this. Because there's just love, and hate, and friendship, etc.
Sorry if that didn't make sense.
You can just tell that Ryan and Brendon are in love. You can just, immediately tell. Just from the first couple of sentences, even.
I liked this muchly. :mrgreen:February 18th, 2008 at 06:20pm -
One day, one day soon, I will give you an extremely good review, that you deserve. For now, a short one:
Brendon?
Yeah?
I love you.
^My favorite line. Because...Because it was the perfect ending, to something that was making me cry. I honestly have no idea why it made me cry, it just...it did. There was something about the way you typed it, something about the way you set the atmoshpere in the story, that made me want to break out bawling.
I liked the way you explained everything, mixing the flashbacks in with the present day paragraphs. Once again, it made the entire story just perfect.
As Gianna said, in her last paragraph, sex wasn't need to show how much love and emotion was held into that, how much affection there truly was in their relationship.
You make them seem so real.
You make me wish I was them...February 18th, 2008 at 05:06am -
First of all, I love the song you picked. I happened to have it playing when I saw your post in the Story/Review thread and I couldn't pass up reading it.
I love the dialogue in the beginning. I don't think many people could have pulled off the 'don't let go' line, but it was just the right context that it flowed naturally and sounded perfect instead of being cliche.
The vagueness of the italicized words is amazing. It's just so perfect for the story. I don't know what it is about that. I love it. At first I didn't know that the next part was after time had passed, but it was clear after a few sentences. The dialogue was harsh and straightforward, but it fit well.
I really like that the actual story parts (I don't know how else to describe it) keep getting longer. I don't know if it was on purpose or not, but it made things seem to get more real as the time passes.
When Ryan asked Brendon to help him...it was just so perfect. It had so much emotion, such a good buildup. The rest...it was just amazing. Beautiful. I loved how there didn't have to be any sex to show just how much love there really was there.
You probably always get this, but you're an amazing writer.
February 18th, 2008 at 04:03am -
I love how you switch back and forth.
The story flowed so nice and I just loved it all around.
Also, I love how it wasn't the typical plot line thing where they secretly love eachother and have hot hot sex. It was a nice change.
My favorite parts were the italicized ones, but the part about Ryan having sex with people he doesn't know is amazing as well. -almost typed 'Ryan having sex with pete' :tehe:
You're an amazing writer blah blah I love you and you know it blah yack.February 18th, 2008 at 03:59am -
The italicized parts are my favorite, with all the "Shut up!"s.
I like how even though the story doesn't go into detail, the reader still knows what is going on.
My favorite lines:
What happened?
Just shut up, okay?
What the fuck happened?
Shut up!
What happened to him?
None of your fucking business!
Like hell!
Shut up!
"No, I mean . . . why am I having sex with people I don't know?"February 17th, 2008 at 09:37pm -
Aw, that was so cute.
Well done. :]
I loved it.
xFebruary 17th, 2008 at 09:27pm -
My newest story.
Short oneshot.
633 words.
P!ATD.
Happy reading!
xoxox
-DruFebruary 17th, 2008 at 09:05pm
Yeah?
I love you.
Nice, and cute. That three lines melted me. From a frown, to a smile.