Who Killed Chloe Beaudelaire? - Comments

This is great, a different take on Harry Potter fan-fictions.
Personally I don't think Voldemort killed her but that's because of the title.
Waiting to see what happeneds:)

I find this very interesting, it's a nice twist/change of events to the original series and it makes Chloe a very intriguing character because I really want to know why she would protect Harry when she didn't know him so well. Surely in a situation facing Voldemort one would do anything not to die, so I'm very interested in why she would do it. I also really like how you portrayed the funeral and the reactions of her family to Harry because it feels right, it feels like that was how a mother would talk and feel. I am very interested to see where this goes so I shall be keeping and eye on it :)

Alright...I'll be honest with you.
I never read Harry Potter fan fictions.
NEVER[/b!
But this? You've made me a fanfiction fan :)
This is elegantly written.
The girl..Anna? I dislike her though. She seemed as though she didn't give a flying fuck about Chloe.
And that pissed me off x.x;
However, the mother? I was relieved that she was different than what I had anticipated.
I was thinking that she would lash out at Harry. Not encourage.
I liked it alot.

Wow, honestly this is the best Harry Potter fan fiction I have read ever. No doubt about it. Even if it was only two chapters it was extremely well written and caught my attention immediately.

The layout is amazing and the banners on every chapter is exquisite. I really like how you emphasized the "she was innocent."
This is absolutely original, quite honestly I didn't even see Harry fitting into this story until you squeezed him in in the first chapter. I like how the point of view is third person omniscient so you can tap into everyone's feelings, but it is still mainly focused on Harry. I like how you portrayed him to be distraught and guilty. It seems right on point with his character. I also love how you compared her death to Cedric's and it explained why he wanted to know more about her. This could be a really great novel, a little sad it will only be four chapters!

In the fist chapter you wrote:
"Anna still wished that she had let Chloe win that last wizard chess match."
I liked this a lot. It showed the last moments of Chloe's life as well as how Anna was feeling afterwards. It was her last regret.

The second chapter drew me in a lot more. I liked how her mother wasn't completely angry with Harry but instead encouraged him to fight. I like the mom.
Unfortunately I was a little taken aback by Anna's responses to Harry. It makes sense since they don't talk much but it was really shocking to see how she talked about her friend. Hopefully I find out why and I can't wait to read more!

I'm sorry, I read the first chapter a while ago and I forgot to comment on it D: But I absolutely love this story. I really don't know what's going to happen next, and I feel like something exciting will happen! I love how you introduce and describe things x)

The layout is beautiful as well, and the banners are gorgeous!

Subscribed <3

I'm just saying, that's exactly how I imagine funerals for those who die at the hands of Lord Voldemort happen. I love it, you've shown regret from her best friend, sorrow from her mother, and guilt from Harry. McGonagall didn't really need to lay it on him so hard. No wonder her always feels guilty.

So, your second chapter is great. Anna is a bit of an oddball but in a way she reminds me of Luna Lovegood — they must be best friends (kidding). I like how you've described Cedric's death and the effect it had on Harry. I really like that this is sort of in Harry's point of view and how upset he is. It shows that even though it's been six years, he's still not used to people dying for him and honoring him and stuff. This isn't even about Anna really is it? It really is just about Chloe. Harry wants to know about Chloe, not her strange friend. I love it, it's so original. Subscribing for sure (:

I am loving this story. The banner is pretty and the lay out is pretty too. :) You have me hooked. :)

I love the layout, it's so plain and gorgeous and simple and the background and the colours and the fonts and stuff just work, it's superb. <3 The summary is very intriguing, immediately the reader wants to know what happened to Chloe.

OMGEE, THIS IS A HARRY POTTER FAN-FIC? Whoo, finally a Harry Potter fan-fic that looks very neat and nice and yeah. :D I really like your choice of words and the beautiful imagery you've got going on there, you could just totally imagine the funeral possession and I like the fact that you've got Harry in there and he's quite similar to the original Harry, he hasn't been dreadfully altered that you just want to smack him. :3 I like how he feels guilty about Chloe's death and that he reminisces over everything, just like the real Harry. When writing numbers, I recommend typing it out in its word form unless if they're obnoxiously big, like over a hundred. It's a rule, I'm not quite sure why. ;o

But anyway, I really like this and everything was well written, your descriptions were fantastic and your sentences flowed really smoothly, in an almost rhythmical pace. Keep up the fab work <3

I love all the drama from the introduction. All this drama makes me hope we can learn more about his "Chloe." When I was smaller I used to imagine me being in Chloe's position on my rope swing. This brings back lots of memories. Thanks for the memories and the beautiful way you presented the drama.

I'm normally all for the Dark Side, but this ruined it. I'm going to have to spend hours reading hot Dark Side fan-fiction now to make up for the effect that had on me. I love the layout and banner, the details in the story are great. It was beautiful, one of the most well-written things I've read in quite some time. Kudos! I'm still rather sad that she died, that's just...really depressing! You nearly made me cry! Grr. I shall not forgive you for that! Never!

I've always loved the named Baudelaire ever since Lemony Snicket.

The layout is sooo pretty. I loved the way you described the way she was crying. I can really see everything happening before my eyes, the imagery is so good.

HARRY POTTAH.

This makes me sad, she didn't have to die. D:

I'm subbing.

The layout is so gorgeous I could cry; and that actress is so pretty. AND I JUST NOTICED THAT THIS IS A HARRY POTTER FANFIC OMG <3 I rarely read HP fics, but this one looks so bloody amazing that I seriously couldn't resist. Anyways, I love the way you started this off. I could really see everything as you describe it; her mother sobbing, her fellow classmates quietly mourning her. It's just so sad :( Even though she's gone, Chloe seems like a very kind and lovely person. I really do like her <3 I also like that Harry is in this. It really gives the story a different feel, even though he's not the main and center character. I like that :D I've read many HP fics that don't include Harry or, even worse, they actually alter his character and it just totally kills the mood of the fic. The entirety of this short little prologue was absolutely amazing. I can't wait to read more. I'm subbing to thise and will come back to read more soon (: Lovely job! <3

When I saw the picture of Harry Potter, I got all exited. 15 DAYS LEFT OMFG. I can't wait.

Oh yeah, story. Kay. So I loved it! Maybe it has a little to do with the fact that I love HArry Potter and it's kind of ironic because I'm dressed as Harry Potter right now xD (My friend and I were roleplaying.)

But anyways, yeah. Is this all the story though? I felt there should be more.

and during which he had asked her how she managed to get her Mandrake to stop screaming maniacally. Well, fisrt of all you wouldn't be able to talk while planting Mandrakes because you'd have earmuffs on and if you took them off you'd faint, like Neville did. So Harry couldn't have made conversation unless it was afterwards that he asked her, but even then, why would it matter? He couldn't hear it.

That part didn't really make sense to me. But other than that it was enjoyable :D

This was very intresting

awww that is very very sad. :(
chloe did the right thing to protect harry.
good for chloe, but still sad.
I liked it! :D
great job!
the banner is very lovely! :)

Layout: Pretty. I love the banner because it gives off a mystical feeling for me. I love how the wooden pattern contrasts with the greyish background.

Chapter One: Oh gawd girl D: You have a heart breaker here. I want to know who Chloe is, why she died protecting Harry, I want to know what House she was(because I'm curious like that). I don't recall reading what house she was. I'm guessing it was Gryffindor or Hufflepuff.

I'm totally subscribing <33
Update soon c:

The layout is fabulous. I love it, it really adds well to the theme of the story. Poor Chloe I feel so sorry for her, protecting someone she barely knew. I hated voldamort before, but this adds to my hatred. I can't wait to see where you go with this. It's beautifully written, the description capturing the mood extremely well, the regret her friend felt, and the regret Harry potter felt was described very well, I could almost feel Harry thinking "Damn, this is wrong". Really good. I'm subscribing.

I LIKE. VERY MUCH SO.

The layout and banner - very mysterious, you don't even realize it's an HP fic at first, which is new. I like it. It sets itself apart from the very first glance.

I wanna read more. I don't know where it's going, but I want to read it when it gets there. *subs*

What did she do to save him? Please update soon! I like this and I didn't notice any mistakes. I like the way it was explained.

Aweee, how sad. I think it's a great opening to the story, though. I feel bad for her and for her friends especially. I can't wait to see more of how Harry takes this girl dying supposedly to protect him from Lord Voldemort. I love how it's just the introduction, yet you still had so much emotion and detail in it already, and it's just amazing. I can't wait to see what happens next.

I love the banner and the layout as well. They really fit the mood of the story, and they're so simple but beautiful at the same time.