July 4th, 2011 at 05:43am
Good to See You Again - Comments
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Thanks for pointing out the errors. I'll be doing some editing soon. :)July 3rd, 2011 at 07:04pm
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First off, the layout is lovely.
I feel like I'm in a dream while reading this. I feel like I can hear your voice narrating in my head, the imagery is lovely. It seems to get a little rambly towards the middle, but you soon fixed that.
"I had one eye opened at looked at myself, practically in your arms."
I don't get it.
Overall, it's a really sweet one-shot. I liked it a lot.July 3rd, 2011 at 06:12pm -
I like this because the way you have written it is very dream-like, the descriptions create a good picture of the scene and it rather confused me to who the guy was so it was rather mysterious to me. Overall I thought it was written really well.
Although this one line doesn't make sense to me: "I had one eye opened at looked at myself,"July 3rd, 2011 at 05:14pm -
This has a sad feel too it but not so much that it makes me cry. I like it though. :) I kinda relate to it too. XDJuly 3rd, 2011 at 04:35pm
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This is really good, I like the introduction (: The details make it somewhat realistic and very amazing. I'll definitely be reading more of this.July 3rd, 2011 at 04:27pm
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Yay!!! I love this!!! <3 I wasn't going to comment because I'm not in the useful comment mood, but when I clicked off I felt bad leaving a story this wonderful without a comment!
So great job! This was amazing! <3July 2nd, 2011 at 04:51am
I'm not a fan of second person but you use second person well, I think second person is best used in one-shots. If it's used in a whole story, it gets a little tedious. I like your attention to detail and your use of imagery is lovely, I can just imagine the girl narrating it and I can easily imagine the boy slinging an arm around the girl's shoulders. I like how you ended the story saying that she's never seen him before yet he appeared. It was sweet <3